Lots can happen in a year... bought a house and added a kitchen... started a company and then another... did my level one and level two ski instructor courses (and passed) tried to get a job with Big White ski school and despite my engaging and compelling humour I was turned down... wtf...? Apparently begging and crying don't work either... but don't worry Clipboard Bob promised me a job for next season... now I don't condone kidnapping but I like to think I got points for creativity... not for sleep deprivation or starvation... What...? He should be thankful, he lost 7kg - and I didn't ask for a ransom, well other than the job thingy. People would pay good money to lose just 2kg... never mind seven.
So next season if/when Her Majesty decides her pleasure is complete... and if Bobbidy Bob Bob keeps his word... would you like a little sausage Bobbidy Bob Bob? Who is a good little clipboard controller? You - yes you are, yes you are...
Next - the rental company, yes I know I have been doing seasonal rentals for a while but this year I decided to make it legal, yes the L word. So I found a whole bunch of owners who didn't know me, I mean needed some slick management and property control. Got them a dodgy unenforceable contract and voila (yes bit of French for you...) not that I like the French... I am English, we are not allowed too. Although I quite like France - it is a bit like England... time for a tangent me thinks...
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| Interest Blog Mr. Sherriff... Now, do you like my 'tache' and Bond eyebrow thingy? |
England and France
- We are both in Europe.
- And... well France is beautiful... England is er... rainy.
- The French language and accent is a lovers language... the English is erm... well we have various accents -
- Cockney rhyming slang famous in er... London. Very similar to not very much and they use phrases like apples and pairs meaning elevator and trouble and strife meaning umbrella.
- Mancunian - made famous by Liam and Noel Gallagher of the Beatles fame.
- Scouse from Liverpool... have you ever seen the film Pretty Woman? Well it has nothing to do with that.
- Brummie - Birmingham, 'yam al rite, yam r' means I am doing very well thank you. Yes, Birmingham is famous for Indian food - more famous than India actually... well there they just call it food.
- Home Counties - have their own accent, it is usually the one you hear in movies - Star Wars n' stuff.
- Scots - have there own various Scottish accents - but don't worry I am here to help. If you hear an accent and it sounds like the person speaking wants to do you bodily harm... it is probably Scottish - he/she could be buying you a drink, asking for directions or wanting to kill you... or all three - talented those Scots.
- Irish, similar to the Scottish interpretation but with Guinness involved and less easy to understand.
- Welsh... they even have their own language called Welsh, amazing eh? But they also speak English... well a version of it... 'Yaki dah' means 'Cheers' and in Welsh is spelt lechyd da this of course is pronounced 'Yaki dah'. Not a phonetic language is the Cymru (pronounced Welsh... I could be fabricating the last bit)
- Of course there are numerous other accents but being lazy I cannot be bothered to abuse right now.
- Skiing - the French have the French Alps... the English have the Lake District... strangely full of lakes... caused by the rain... and it has hills, with grass on them making them perfect for sheep... and 30 years ago - grass skiing.
- Beaches - St Tropez, Cannes, French Riviera... all beautiful French resort areas. England has Southport - which is er... up north... and the sea is seldom seen. We used to have Blackpool beach too, but well we had too many polluted beaches to comply with EU regulations... so... Blackpool does not have a beach anymore. The beach is still there... but is not technically called a beach.
- Cuisine - the French is famous for delicious diverse and creative dishes - Snails, Frogs Legs, the English have Fish n Chips and roast beef... less popular... 'let's go to that English restaurant...' is not a common global phrase...
- Libations - the French have wine, cognac, champagne, thousands of dollars (Euro's) can be paid for a single bottle of red... the English have beer... served flat at room temp - two quid for a four pack at Tesco's. Of course the English have expanded their cultural diversity - now you can also get French wine in Tesco's... even in Wales... yaki daaaa...
- Language - most French people reluctantly speak (amongst other languages) English, the English also reluctantly speak English... well I say reluctantly, a better word would be 'unable' - see accents above.
- Fashion - despite having no fashion sense the French... who am I kidding French fashion houses started with Bonaparte who had his horse painted white before invading Russia... (yes... cos of the snow) however the only other country to have more fashion sense than the French is Italy and guess who invented Italy? Yes the English.
- Soccer - again invented by the English and the French want to be English so much they insist on repeatedly winning the World Cup... Les Bastards...
And we are back - rental stuff. Yes I did it. Had some interesting tenants... gave the good ones beer. Actually they all started out good... well until they moved in anyway. Anyway (you can't end and start a sentence with the same word... yes I can...) interestingly I have a lot of beer left over... lots... and lots... and lots.
What else?
Er... that's it for today I think.
Sólido Properties is English (not French), owns, manages, rents and at the moment drinks lots of beer... if you are looking for a landlord or property manager who is so inebriated the best he can do is make up stuff in a blog... contact us :) now... time for a beer... Lechyd Da!
