Tuesday 17 March 2015

Big White is AWESOME! Cos the people... 12 - Josh Foster

Version 2.0
The original version did not have any adult supervision... 

Or 'The' Josh Foster, snowpro.
Yes, my teeth really are
this white... I eat
snow for breakfast.


Of course there are lots of snowpros at Big White, 160+ this season, so being a snowpro is great, but there are lots.

Let me tell you a little about a Ski Instructors qualification progression. This part is a little less entertaining... or abusive, you can fast forward to a more entertaining area about Josh if you want. Just scroll down to where it says 'this bit'.

Level 1.
A three day course, most people pass on their first attempt. The course is conducted by qualified and experienced Level 3 or Level 4 course conductors. The courses are run by the local ski school.

Level 2.
Two days of training and two days of assessed training. Both the skiing and teaching standards are much higher. Courses are run by the Canadian Ski Instructors Alliance (CSIA). These course conductors wear the (different) uniforms of CSIA. In addition to the course and assessed training, there is a minimum 10 credit requirement - 'teaching children', or 'Introduction to all-terrain' or 'Park' etc. and/or on-line modules. Pass rate is something below 100%. Of course I could have done some detailed research to find out accurate numbers but that would have meant me not only asking a question, but asking it to the right person and... actually listening.

Level 3.
Typical Level 3 candidate at Big White.
Yes, of course I'm lying.
Three days of training plus two days of exams; covering both teaching and skiing standards. Again there is an additional total requirement of 40 credits; any accumulated credits from level two count towards the total. There are advanced courses for credits - Advanced Teaching, Advanced All-terrain etc. again plus the on-line modules. Level three is where the pass rate drops dramatically - 50%-60%, (my goal this year is to reduce the average pass rate, for all candidates... yes, you are welcome). The candidate must pass both the ski and teach parts of the exam. 

At Level 3, instructors can develop their teaching qualifications and pursue Course Conductor qualifications. The qualification requires course conductor shadowing and er... other stuff and things I think... prior to the full qualification.

Level 4.
There are few Level 4 qualified ski instructors, Big White has five including the Snowboard side - less than 3% of all instructors at Big White. And the standards are pretty high, to secure your level 3 the prerequisites are achieving your level 2 plus 40 credits. The level 4 course is six days long plus four days of testing. And the pass rate...? Ha! don't ask... cos I don't know... or didn't, a reliable source tells me somewhere between 0%-20%. A pretty high standard eh? 0%... Zero?
No, the skis matching the jacket and headband
really is a coincidence.

And... in addition to the course, exam, level 3 prerequisite (with the credits) you also need one of the following...
  • CSCF Entry Level (trained)
  • CSIA Snow Park Certification
  • CASI Level 1 Certification
  • CSGA Pre-course completed
  • CANSI Level 1 Certification
  • CFSA Club coach workshop completed
  • CADS Level 1 certification
Pretty intense! I don't even know what half of those are, I think the C stands for coffee. But, I hear you ask, who awards the Level 4 qualification? That is where The Josh steps up, and more often than not says "Fail" Yes, Josh is a Level 4 examiner, or probably more accurately Level 4 fail-er... what? It could be a word... Actually, Josh does not set the standard, it is set by the CSIA (the Coffee something...) if you don't reach the standard, you don't pass... did you read the zero %?

This Bit :)
But this blog is not about ski instructor levels, this blog is about The Josh... let me tell you a couple of things about him.
See the 'wave' in the corduroy? Enough ski pressure!
  • Josh can communicate telepathically - it is true, I knock on his door and he looks at me and I get this message in my mind 'what the f*** do you want?'
  • I can make Josh laugh, well I did once... "I am gonna try for my Level 3 exam." I told him, there was a smile, and a twinkling in his eye and then some telepathic communication 'Ha...! You're a dumb-ass'.
  • Josh has been a member of CSIA for 25 years.
  • Josh has tree trunks for legs. Actually trees are envious of Josh's trunks.
  • Josh can ski fast... very. B******
  • Josh can ski fast... very, when visibility is zero. Yes I said it, zero. I think he has radar, or sonar or some other Ar... he keeps it in his legs.
  • Josh can ski fast... very, on bumps the size of VW bugs whilst making it look like he is skiing perfect corduroy.
  • Josh can ski fast... very, on bumps the size of VW bugs, in zero visibility... whilst sick as a dog... B******. I did it, I said it again.
  • Josh is my favourite ski instructor at Big White... named Josh... who has a second name of Foster... and is a ski school director. Yes, my favourite.
Occasionally I have had Josh as my instructor, he says 'do this' however I prefer to do 'that' a much more difficult method of skiing. Occasionally these techniques lead to new and creative terminology - 'neckulation' was a recent and inventive skiing style I employed; of course this led to another private telepathic message from Josh... 'Dumb-ass'. I know, I know, I have had that message... 

None skiing activities.
Don't make me explain the joke...
But what is this 'Neckulation'? I hear you ask, let me provide a definition - it is the idiotic style of skiing, employing head-bobbing in lieu of flexing ankle, knees and hips. Note - neckulation could be popular in other none skiing activities... well, I imagine anyway.

What else? Josh can get cranky... like a woman in the middle of her 'special' week after a shitty day at work, who has lost her chocolate, ran out of wine and found the kitchen filthy, whilst her husband is at the bar... two hours after he should have picked up the kids and forgotten to take the dogs out... dogs who needed to go, really needed to go... Actually I embellish a little, I have no idea what a cranky Josh is like... but I do have a wife... and kids... and two dogs...

Josh has his own TV show and website - 'Ski Tips with Josh Foster...' it is ok, and he is a Firefighter... and the Big White Ski School director... oh yes and a triathlete... but does he have a blog, read by up to four people every day! Didn't think so.

Anyway, that is enough mirth for this evening. 

Sólido Properties owns, manages, rents, seasonal, long term property at Big White Ski Resort... and is an over paid, underworked, over appreciated, amply rewarded ski instructor - (yes, I do want another job my job back) that has an Italian wife (the loud kind), kids, two dogs and occasionally (mistakenly) spends too long at the bar... 


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