Big White is AWESOME! Chickendick...

Probably not what you think... unless of course you have been kiteboarding. It is the thingy that looks like (go on guess, yes exactly) a piece of plastic pipe that secures the harness to the control bar. 

And and and, it is also the name of a kiteboarding clothing company... they are called Chickendick. What? I know you know. I told you... dumbass. I just like repeating myself. I just like repeating myself.

Big White... Chickendick... is there a connection...?

Robinson somewhere, doing something or other. I dunno.

Well, let me be the first to break the news!

No.

Nope, no connection, none at all.

None.

Except...

I went Kiteboarding this summer, two times... so twice. Kite Beach, Cabarete, Dominican Republic - it (just like Big White) was AWESOME! And that is where I met Robinson Hilario - we don't like Robinson. We put a lot of effort into not liking him... we have to, cos it's hard. Let me tell you about Robinson, and why You shouldn't like him either.

Robinson... what the hell is he looking at?
Oh, wait, it is a 'dramatic' look. Got it.

1. He has hair. Lots of it, and it is the best kind. Even wifey is envious; and wifey is Italian with this big mane of dark curly hair down to, to... well, some of my favourite wifey bits. Yes, even she is envious.
2. He is young! Yeah! 11 or something... or 22 - same thing. Wifey kept looking at him... "he... he... is so, is so... doesn't he have really nice hair...?" No!
3. And he is a pro kiteboarder. I'm not even proactive. Bar Steward! World #11 or something, I wasn't paying attention. Cos really, who cares?
4. And he lives on a beach... in the Caribbean... kitesurfing all day... sponsored by all these fancy kitesurfing companies... F-One... who take him around the world making videos... 
5. And fit and healthy. Me? 48 - dad body - you know, Leonardo Di Caprio but without the money, beautiful girls, envious lifestyle, rich, famous, blah blah blah, hair! Ha! Fogger!
6. And he is a nice guy. Nice! Goddamit! For fogs sake! Nice!

So, you agree, we hate him? Thought so.

He was my instructor at Kite Beach - wait... just gonna give my buddy Wilson a plug - he owns Big Willy's Kiteboard School... I was glad of the apostrophe... Think about it. And Robby (to his friends) was my 'guide'.

Now 'guide' is a broad moniker, my 'guide' - Robinson, did quite a few things.

1. Robinson helped me find some Sea Urchins... I had to ensure I had found them... this I did with my big toe... four times. Brought some Dominican Republic Sea Urchin pieces home with me.Yes sir. Fun times. Crying was involved.
2. Robinson would collect my board... cos I kept falling off... and couldn't recover it. He could tho... he could recover it easy... and then do tricks... jump, land on the beach,

   

   Here is your board, again...

   board in hand... smiling at me. Bar Steward!
3. Robinson helped me find, with my other big toe a rock. Toe went black. Robinson laughed - it was funny... not.
4. "Any tips?" I would ask. We would laugh. Well, he would laugh. He would laugh with those big eyes, and perfect white teeth... and say nothing. Me? I was planning ways to make Robinson 'disappear'.

Not on this list? Robinson helping me find my sunglasses... both pairs. Sometimes when I was falling off my board (I did this lots to entertain Robinson), I would manage to 'whiplash' face first into the beautiful... warm... rock fogging hard Caribbean! Sometimes, I would only 'wind' myself, sometimes I would only swallow a gallon of salt water (sometimes the force was so much that my lungs couldn't take the volume... allowing my sinuses to act as Pressure Relief Valves... no, not painful at all)  sometimes I would avoid hitting my chest by absorbing the impact with my face. Twice. Twice I lost sunglasses - Oakleys. Robinson would smile at me... Fogger!

I'm just helping this damsel in distress.

Anyhoooo... Robinson is sponsored by Chickendick. They have these Awesome (yes, I will use the word again) t-shirts. Wait... yes, number 7. Number 7 on the list of reasons we hate him. T-shirts Robinson wears all the time yeah, All the time. And and and... he gave me one. Why!!? Wait, it gets worse - he gave me a brand new one, and it was the 'Pro' edition. Ahhh!!!! Fogger! Don't smile at me 'Robby'. 

I like my t-shirt, it is soft and comfy.

When I was in the Army we had 'issued' toilet paper (TP)... (wait... it is connected) TP was 'crunchy', 'crinkly' (think chip (crisps for you Brits) packet) and not very effective (which really is a critical element of TP... no?). Anyhow, sometimes we would buy our own TP... This we referred to as 'Comfy Bum' cos you needed to differentiate... "Lend us your comfy bum." No one ever said 'lend us that crisp packet...'.

Anyway, my Chickendick t-shirt, is the t-shirt equivalent of comfy bum - yes! It is that soft.

I think I see your sunglasses Chris.

And now, cos I told a bunch of lies n stuff I am going to be an ambassador for Chickendick. Yes, Amabassador Chris - so this is kind of me doing some of that bassadoring thing... whatever.

Actually, being an Ambassador gives me the inside track to management and owners. I can get you a t-shirt. Yes exactly! Just send me $500 and I can get you any colour you like. You can also get them here too - a little less expensive.



Okay enough.

Sólido Properties... owns, manages, runs (occasionally), operates a seasonal rental business at Big White Ski (and Bike) Resort. And (if you adopt a broad definition of kiteboarding) we kiteboard... so if you are looking for a place to stay this season... You are (not) in luck, we can('t) help cos we're full - sorry. The 'sorry' is me pretending to be nice.