Not at Big White - Edinburgh instead.

I left Big White on Friday, just before the season ended - good, I won't cry, bad, the season ended :(

But I am enjoying the "delights" of Edinburgh Business School, at the Heriot Watt campus. I never did the university thing, I can't really claim to have done the school thing - I left at 15 to pursue a career in doing nothing. Whilst very successful in the beginning, I soon realized it was not very lucrative...

So, trying to kill two birds with one stone (travel & survival) I joined the British Army - to be the best I could be... So the formative student years were spent in Basic Training and army life. The Army has some differences to being a student and some similarities.

Well the obvious one is number of syllables - the army could only afford two whilst University (count them) has five!

Second
During basic training you are surrounded by a similar demographic - uneducated, Northern, working class men (British Army), good at drinking and fighting.

At Uni, (reduced syllables here to prevent Army from being jealous)
You are again surrounded by similar demographics, educated, Southern, middle class, good at drinking and not fighting.

Thirdly.
There is also a similar reward and control system in both 'societies'

At Uni,
If you are late. Nothing happens
If you miss a class. Nothing happens
If you fail an exam. You get to retake it, ad nauseam
If you lose your ID card. You get a new one.
If you don't shave, shower, wash your clothes. Nothing happens
If you don't iron your clothes. Nothing happens.
If you don't polish your shoes. Nothing happens.
Your day starts - when you want, or not at all - stay in bed.
Your day finishes - when you want, or get bored, or never even started, whatever.
If you fail your fitness test. What?
Classes last a whole 20 hours a week.
And a 26 week per year commitment.
Social skills are developed - you can talk to boys/girls.
Uni is high pressure. If you fail your exams, you may have to stay in this insufferable environment, longer.

In the Army.
If you are late. Go to jail.
If you miss a class. You are considered AWOL - go to jail.
If you fail a subject. Get beat up by your mates.
If you lose your ID. Go to jail.
If you don't shower, shave, wash your clothes. Get beat up by your mates, then go to jail.
If you don't polish your shoes, press your kit. Get beat up.
Your day starts at 5:25am.
Your day finishes at 11:25pm. (of course this is not always the case, sometimes your day does not finish)
If you fail your fitness test. Extra classes are provided free of charge during your down time (11:25pm - 5:25am)
The Army is 18 hours per day, seven days per week - 126 hours per.
The Army lasts 52 weeks per year, although it feels longer.
Social skills are converted into killing skills - 600 yards in a section fire action.
The Army is also high pressure - sometimes you are in risky environments where people try to kill you. Luckily the Army moves you to these environments free of charge. And whether you get killed or not, for the most part, they bring you home.

What the flump has this got to do with Big White? Well not much really, however, I am at Edinburgh Uni attending a course. And the campus is quite small and getting hold of some things (food) is sometimes challenging. The bar closes at 5pm, my classes finish at 5pm - not really the student experience I was expecting.

Last night I played squash until 9pm, I then went (tried) for dinner to the restaurant which, was closed, I went to the campus shop, which closed at 6pm and then went back to the sports centre to the only vending machines available - but by the time I got there... it was closed.

Tonight I went to the cafeteria first and had a baked potato - the only hot thing they had.

Have you ever had baked potato? It is one of my favourites, I like Mars Piper type potatoes, which I wash, dry, prick all over with a fork, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle generous amounts of sea salt, and bake for 90 - 120 mins; turning occasionally, until the skins are nice and crisp and the flesh is light and fluffy. A bit of butter, salt and pepper - hmmm delicious!

The campus cafeteria potato was prepared in a slightly different manner - it was washed (I think) then microwaved. I was offered Flora (posh margarine) but declined. Just touching on margarine for a second, I heard margarine is one of the only foods that if you leave it out in the sun for two weeks, other than melting, nothing will happen. Interestingly, flies will not touch the sun warmed margarine... its butter or nothing for me and flies, or is it flies and I?

Anyway, I think that is it from me, I did embellish a little with the army stuff, you don't go to jail for those things - you get to go for lots of other stuff too.

Have Fun!