Big White is AWESOME! Cos the people 5 - The Carrs!

Last night (Thursday - yes I am behind) the Carrs hosted a night at the Globe to celebrate their acceptance and approval to be permanent residents of Canada!!! Woohoo! Well done guys... so exciting...

Unfortunately I missed the first couple hours as I was (speak with an aloof voice here) attending a world class squash clinic in town. Now just to clarify, I wasn't doing the world class stuff, the world No. 44 (world No.1 doubles) was doing that... I was doing the mediocre, over the hill, mid-life crisis, fat, bald guy thing... but we were on the same court...

And yes Manon, there are more than 45 squash players in the world, thank you very much! Just for you I will be eventually doing a blog on my 'love' of all things French... oh, wait a minute I can do it now-

Things I love about the French-

1. 
   

There, finished.

My comments won't cause any strikes I hope...

Anyhooo... The Carrs

Joy - mum extraordinaire. Mother to four other family members - all very nice but do need good mothering...

Charlie... Charlie is on my soccer team and now I think he kind of puts up with my presence. Last year Charlie started playing hockey with us... and I mention it because every time I was on the ice with Charlie, he would give me the dirtiest looks... ever... EVER! No, I am not joking, these looks could stop a charging gorilla at 50m. 

But Charlie also has the cutest smile, when he is happy... or when he is playing soccer and takes out a bigger player... funny... it's the evil grin... 

Quick joke... what do you call a gorilla with a machine gun?
"Sir"

Ned - I don't know Ned that well, he chats with my daughter quite a bit... Ned is on thin ice...

Lucy - Lucy is a bit of a bully to me, poking with straws, bits of wood, kicking and hitting. Eventually she has had enough and retaliates... of course this leads to tickling. But as the Bearestine bears will attest - there is such a thing as too much fun... so the tickling usually leads to (my) tears... occasionally Lucy pretends to feel bad... but... no apologies... ever!

What we need is more Sugar!

And then there is the eldest - Jaime. Jaime seemed to have consumed a little too much sugar on Thursday and found himself without a ride home... (mum had gone to bed...), and he seemed to lack the coordination to get himself back up the hill... funny how sugar can do that... and make you slur your words too...  I think it has something to do with that insulin stuff... Anyhooo, we dropped Jaime at home, and waited just to ensure he got in the door... 

Ha! mum had played a trick on him... she had moved house! Well not really, she had parked the car (slightly) in-front of another house. Combined with excessive amounts of sugar; this created confusion (more...?) in Jaime's head - the discussions on Alien civilizations had been taxing. He could not get the door codes to work on either the garage or the front door... 

...Of the wrong house... way, way too much sugar I think... we tried to help "Jaime, are you at the right house...?" And there were a couple of subtle clues - but obviously the big brass number at eye level, on the door... did not help... 'why is this three, not a four?'

Eventually of course Jaime found the right house and got in the door... the expectation was  loud choice words from mum... we decided not need to enjoy those, and we scurried off...

Welcome to Canada!

Big White is AWESOME! A bit on health, fitness and nutrition.

Calling all unfitties - yes, my (new) word of the day. 

unfitties - person who would rather be fitter - so... everyone...

He he he he!


Treadmill, eliptical, stationary bike... brilliant. I can go into a sweaty stinky room and enjoy the view of a wall... yay!

Benefits.

• You can get off when you want.
• They make time pass really slowly... good god mother - 4-minutes and I am watching the seconds tick by...
• Make great clothes horses.
• Occupy tons of space in you home.
• Er... oh burns some calories...

Actually when I lived in Bosnia and could not go outside without getting shot at, or blowing myself up on a land mine, I would sit on a stationary bike and read for a hour or so... So they can have their place... in the middle of a war torn country, where people try to kill you... not in Canada tho...

Outside...
Wait, what... where? Outside! It is the fresh air bit... the bit between the car and Tim Hortons... 

If you are reading this, you probably live at, have lived at, or are coming to Big White. So yes, outside. Big White is the perfect training ground - you don't need a treadmill, you need a pair of shoes and some comfortable clothes - you can do it, step outside... don't be afraid... and.... Go...!

There you are, wasn't that easy? 

Benefits-

• You cannot get off when you want.
• You forget about time.
• It is stunningly beautiful.
• Just walking will give you a great cardio work-out.
• Walking is considered one of the best pure fat burning exercises.
• You will build up muscle, and improve muscle tone.
• And it is free, yes Free, capital F if you want.
• Your dog will thank you... what no dog? Get one, or go borrow one, there are a bunch hanging around the Globe.

And it is available, (this free thing) all year round... perfect.

Yes it rains, yes it gets foggy, sometimes there is snow (get yak tracks, or snow shoes, or touring skis, snowboard... whatever...). You can do it. Get outside, your mum was right... she probably still is... even the Brussels sprouts bit... 

Quick note on muscle.

• Muscle burns energy, fat does not.
• Your muscle fibres break down when you exercise and build up again when you rest. They build up using protein - eat some protein, you will recover quicker.

Quick note on protein.

• Protein contains 4 calories per gram, fat is 9.
• Protein takes a significant time to be processed through your digestive system - you will stay satiated longer.
• This means your blood sugar levels will remain balanced - sugar rush cravings will diminish.

Carbohydrates - a quick note.

• Bad, bad, bad. Well not completely, except sugar and sugar mimickers - bread etc.
• Your digestive system will process sugar immediately.
• The sugar enters your blood stream waiting to be put to work.
• Without work the energy has to do something. Your body is brilliant at conserving energy - the excess will get stored... on your body... as...? Fat... Yes, well done, you knew the answer!
• And then... the energy is stored, the blood sugar levels drop, and you get hungry... again... quick eat a donut.

Food and Calories - quick note.

• An egg (protein and fats) has 70 calories, three for breakfast will keep you going until lunch.
• A bagel (carbs) has like 500 - hungry by 10...?
• Your little fancy coffee with da da da and da da da, oh, and whip cream please - 500+ calories. Black coffee - zero.

They say you are what you eat - want a million dollar body...? Don't eat at the dollar store...

Lastly - if you get sick, where will you live?

Come see me for free rants, raves, and lectures on protein etc.

Your loving conscience.
C.

Big White is AWESOME! Stuff...

Hey... winter... already? I never got the memo, what happened to Fall... did someone forget?

Snow at Big White this morning!!! Woohoo! Very exciting!

Not much I know, but it is coming... above is looking up the cliff, below is top of the saddle.

 And looking down towards the saddle and East Peak.

So what has been happening at Big White? I am run off my feet... I know, I will fill up the spaces with pretty pictures, then talk drivel again... no one will notice.

Big White got invaded by giant mushrooms.

Anyone know what kind it is?

And apparently there was a 'chocolate' incident at one of the Big White homes. People close by heard strange noises coming from the Isfan residence very early this morning...

And the rumour (I am just starting) - Scott Isfan has been summarily terminated by his 'lovely' wife Jenni... a lack of chocolate... obviously a very dangerous situation... 

This execution is inconvenient... who is going to help me coach the soccer Jenni? You are so selfish.

Anyway as a safety precaution I am now walking around with chocolate bars in my pockets, to fend off any predatory Jennies... Bears, cougars and Jennies -

People don't be fooled, you may think it is cute, and friendly 'hi, I have juice... would you like some little boy...? And then BAM!

Enough!!! Back to work...

Pitch - We look after stuff... etc etc... whatever.
Link

Big White is AWESOME! One Dog and his man pt 2.

So we start the hike, me carrying everything and him with probably nothing - I get over the unable to move thing... okay it is not so bad... We are in the woods, there are critters everywhere, the sun is shining through the trees, the air is as fresh as at Big White. It is a bit more humid cos of the ocean - but I don't mind, it makes my long flowing locks all curly... I show these off to baldy over there... regularly... Ha... Baldy!

So we walk for four hours... cos baldy is so slow... dude, pick up the pace... I can't wait to get home, food, cosy bed, ear scratching and belly rubs - excellent. So we stop at a beach and it is kind of late and numpty over there starts putting up a big orange thing... where is the Globe, where is my bed, where are my little luxuries... then he pulls out a sleeping bag... Wait, what...? We are sleeping here, on these rocks...? Okaaay... you have brought a thermal mat and sleeping bag for me... yes...?

No!!! wtf dude, WTF...! We are over, done, finito...! Dumb-ass.

So he goes to sleep and I am watching him... from my 'cosy' rocks... but he did feed me... so I let him live another day... actually it was pretty good - crunchy pad thai - yum!

The next day we are up bright and early, I am ready instantly - baldy has to take down his tent, roll up his mat, pack his sleeping bag, load up his back-pack - dude do you... oh, crunchy pad thai noodles again... yum!

And then we are off... up and down these hills, up and down, up and down... why? Even though I am carrying everything, baldy over there is sweating like a pig - ha! Baldy!

Eventually I smell a bear, but I ain't gonna say anything - you want the sleeping mat and bed? You can deal with the bear... man it is loud and stinky - chomping his food like there is no tomorrow "Om... nom.. nom... nom" Baldy does not hear him, does not smell him, does not see him until the bear is looking at him... up close, personal and er irritated... Ha! Baldy scurries away like a little critter... bet you wish you had some big teeth now eh... quick beat him off with your sleeping bag... Ha! dumb-ass... he pulls out a knife and starts to whistle - are you kidding me, like that is going to save you...

Okay, I figure baldy is gonna get himself hurt, so I deal with the situation - I give the bear my best 'look' and he is gone. And what thanks do I get? None... no, I don't like peanuts.

11 hours today - I could have done that in two... I decide to lead - sick of the view of baldy's butt, of course I have to keep coming back for him, waiting for him, scaring away the bears for him... We get to the next campsite and it is pretty cool - the beach is sand, not rocks - whose idea was the rocks anyway...? Baldy builds me a little campfire to keep warm, I have more crunchy noodles, the sand is soft... I am drifting away to the sound of the sea... Critters come in the middle of the night, chew on baldy's back pack - I explain the situation to them and they disappear - no thanks again...

Up... not as early, baldy does his packing thing, I go and cruise and mark, cruise and mark - I visit the next camp - of course they love me, it is my curly locks... they speak to baldy a bit and we are all off.

So this turns out to be the longest and most boring day, the best thing I can say about it... it ended, of course Baldy had to do two detours, why? Cos he is a Dumb-ass. Baldy carried my pack a bit... one km out of 52 - I saved your life dude... 'even' you think...? No, no, no...

We got to Port Renfrew and eventually back to the truck - soft cosy seat...? No pack...? No rocks... er yes please. And two giant pastrami sausages... let me just say I love pastrami sausage - they are like bacon in a wrap... bacon - I love bacon... oooh imagine pastrami wrapped in bacon... And cheese, I love cheese, cheese in pastrami in bacon...

We sleep in the truck, baldy looks uncomfortable - poor ickle baldy... try some rocks dude! And then we are on the ferry and back to Big White - I couldn't wait to get back to explain to the ferret how I captured a bear... all by myself...

Big White is AWESOME! One Dog and his Man...

Hiking the Juan de Fuca trail... with his best buddy...? Ha...?

Just because I tolerate his presence does not make him my Buddy, Master or Alpha... I am an independent dog... Yes, I do greet people all the time - just being social... and yes if I do sniff some butts it is just communication - "hey, how you doin', what did you have for dinner last night... ah dog food again... been traveling long...? Yes I caught your scent a couple of clicks back... did you see that damn squirrel...?" You know - water cooler stuff.

And he didn't 'ask' me to go on this 'adventure'. No, he dragged me from Luca's (my real buddy's bed) at death o'clock in the morning, bundled me in the car and kept me locked up for 11 hours whilst we were 'driving'. Does this guy not know when we travel around we mark our territory - we have to check things out, we have to 'cruise and mark man, cruise and mark!' Dumb-ass.

Okay so I did get to sit shotgun, and yes he brought me a cosy blankie to lie on, and okay we did stand at the front of the boat watching er nothing... he said he saw some killer whales but I don't believe him... I have a keen sense for all things that need chasing...

Burgers, yes he gave me half a burger, big deal. I could eat two without blinking, probably four on a good day - 'I am stomach of steel dog me'. Well unless I get into some garbage and eat something bad... then I become 'instant food to waste dog...' My casual acquaintance (owner...) usually gets mad at me if I become rapid food conversion dog... But what the hell dude, I am a dog, this is what dogs do... we eat stuff, edible, palatable (or not), or excessive... 

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I ate that whole apple pie from Costco... er yum! It was massive, must of weighed 5 kgs. He left on the counter, it was in my territory... (well his, but when he is not there... I am dog, I am in command...) and if stuff is in my territory... Don't blame me, you left it out... Of course 5kgs was a bit much for me, so I returned the apple pie... but no, this was not good enough, there was still yelling and lots of 'bad dog'... Whatever...

Don't get me wrong, I love hiking, (I don't to the Miking thing - handle bars and the opposing thumbs is a bit of an issue...) we go up the mountain I chase the critters, we come down - go to Globe people love me... me, not him, me. Not once have I seen someone scratch his ears... eh?

So we get to the trail head and my casual acquaintance is putting a big pack on his back - what are you doing that for dude? 'Idiot' I thought, that will really slow you down - how are we gonna catch the critters? And then he pulls out another pack... and I get a bad feeling - what is going on? No...! don't do that... man... I cannot walk, I cannot 'cruise and mark' I cannot sit down, I cannot lie down, I cannot do my 'stuff' and I swear I am carrying half of his stuff... Dumb-ass.

A man and his dog Pt 2 - 'Om nom nom nom, Om nom n...'

Day Two.

Coffee...! No hot water, what do I do about getting my bean fix? I had brought this great upside downy thing that would brew filter coffee, and I had brought ground coffee - I even had milk and sugar...

Extreme situations call for men to dig deep and find inner strength... to find the solution, to do whatever it takes... to drink cold coffee... wasn't bad - wasn't Globe's, but I got my fix.

I was tired - going from a luxury king mattress to a thermal mat on rocks is a bit of a downgrade - even though I had been awake since 2:30am the previous day, slopey, rocky sleep was not ideal... This allowed me the luxury of enjoying waiting for first light from 4:30 am... it was delayed - six it arrived, who is in charge here?

Even though the next leg was 12km and the 'moderate' 8k the day before was slightly tiring ('please please god will this ever end...') I figured if I started early, and hiked for 10 hours doing the glorious 2km per hour, I could do the next 7km leg also... one foot in front of the other... and repeat...

So the dreamy image of backpacking is this, picturesque, tranquility, serenity, peace and beautiful scenic views...

The reality is probably closer to this...

I had set off and I am going along... my back pack probably weighs 450kg by this time and I have to lean way forward to balance myself out. I am listening to my glutes rebelling, looking at the wonderful view of my feet padding along at almost 2km per hour, and the straps on my pack are just squeaking in my ears. 


As I am padding along staring at the ground I notice this other noise in a very low tone, and it is just slowly registering in my mind - it is a James Earl Jones kind of tone "Om... nom.. nom.. nom.., Om... nom.. nom.. nom..." as I start to think to myself, what is this Om nom nom...? I look up, as I look up, the current "Om... nom.. n..." stops... and there is a black bear, in mid chew looking at me... he is in the bushes, but he is close, probably 7 feet close... And he is looking at me, kind of like the look your wife gives you when you have left your socks on the floor...

"Uh oh... er nice bear.. yes, don't worry about me... I'm just gonna go back... no please don't stop...  keep eating those berries... you don't need any extra protein... "...om nom nom..."

I quickly backed up... and scurried away... my buddy didn't even see him but I think he heard something... So I backed away probably 100 feet, I was quick too, probably got up to 3.5km per hour... maybe more... I got out my knife (cos that will help me against a cranky double duty Wolverine) and I made some noise - loud whistles... don't ask, I have no idea why I would think whistling is scary for a bear... and then I crept forward... 

And he/she was gone! Woohoo! Whistling worked... me man, scare off bear with stick and whistle... 

"Om nom nom nom..." I scurried away again...

The rest of day two was less dramatic, I saw some Orca whales playing in the ocean - they were there for about 15 minutes - that was pretty cool and I was in a great spot to see them.

You see the spot in the middle of the top left quarter? That is where the Killer Whales are no longer... they were there I promise - water spouts and everything...

And this was behind me - great spot for bathing my feet and filling up the water supply.

Anyhooo... I managed the 21k - it was after 7pm by that time - 11 hours, probably with 60 minutes of breaks... and I was consuming roughly a litre of water per hour... hard work but I was beginning to enjoy it, my body became accustomed to the weight, I was able to take in the beauty of nature instead of my ugly, muddy and very stinky boots - it was pretty cool.

So I pitched camp and this was just as the sun went down... pretty nice.

The site was all sand - luxury, the temp was perfect, cool breeze, not a cloud in the sky. I made a little camp fire, I ate my dinner... peanuts... which I had also had for breakfast and lunch - but an easy choice - eat or not eat... I figure I am burning close to 6 million calories a day... eating was the choice.

I hit the sack and was in la la land pretty quick...

A man and his dog... pt 1.

So my best buddy and I decided to do the Juan de Fuca marine trail on Vancouver Island. 47km plus a couple on the road, plus a few more if you get lost... or decide to hitchhike back... and don't get a ride...

I call him my best bud but I think it is a kind of one way thing - he is friendly with any and everyone. I think he could take or leave me. He is also very social - he will go up to anyone and greet them... and they always greet him back. Me, I am a bit shy, I don't just wander up to people...

We planned to leave at 3am Friday morning, and we were both ready to go at 3.45, not bad. We had to stop at Sportchek on the way, I had a gas stove buried in the bushes there... I had bought all my hiking gear including this brilliant little stove, unfortunately they never put the stove in the box... brilliant. But they were okay, we did some covert ops drop/pick up exercise and we were off.

So I drove the whole way, he never offered once but that is okay, I prefer to drive. Most of the time he just looked out of the window or slept. We stopped for burgers on the way - I am not really a burgers kind of guy but he loves them and with the calories we would burn over the next few days...

We got to the trail head around 2pm and after adjusting our packs and repacking and adjusting again and testing and paying our camp fee and adjusting again and loading our water bladders, adjusting again... we were instantly off.

The trail is broken down into various sections, different lengths and varying degrees of difficulty. The first two sections were 2km & 6.6km respectively and rated moderate... a couple of hours I thought - 4k per hour is reasonable, no?

I set off and even though it was all downhill I very soon discovered my glutes did not like hiking with a backpack, no not at all. Just a quick two hours over the estimated two, we arrived at Bear Beach; a little tired. Some German guy started talking to me (why?) and I tried to have a conversation with him - man I could not get a coherent sentence out, I was almost slurring my words... and no I had not been drinking.

Anyway the German guy quickly scurried off from the crazy dude and I set about pitching camp - I was pretty excited (delirious) and I got everything out - tent, sleeping bag, mat dehydrated food (Pad Thai - I had even bought some extra hot sauce to spice things up...) stove and gas canister. Now I was responsible for the cooking and the stove (I had done my covert ops thing...) everything was ready... or so I thought - I had my stove and I had my gas canister (one of those green ones, weigh about 5lbs or 25lbs after three days, the kind that don't fit my brand new stove... yes those kind... Kudos to my buddy, he never said a word, he gave me that tilted head look... and then went to have a pee.

The Pad Thai package said boiling water... now a dumb-ass would think it could rehydrate with cold water... the dumb-ass tested his theory. A hour... 11 hours... 18 hours... damn Pad Thai rock hard noodles. After a very crunchy dinner, a crunchy breakfast and a semi crunchy lunch... my buddy and I finally managed to finish the first package...

Now the next morning I assessed the situation -

1. I was exhausted after doing the moderate 8km.
2. I had no food. I have peanuts, tail mix and 7 solo bars.
3. I had no coffee (have I mentioned my addiction to the bean? A lack of caffeine means a big whole miserable Chris, and yes crying is involved)
4. The next leg is 12km and it is rated the 'most difficult'
5. I still have 41 km to go... if I don't do any detours... (why would I do detours...? Well I wouldn't want to do them would I... did you not see the dumb-ass bit?)
6. I have to be home on Tuesday or my wife will kill me.

But, I have wanted to do this hike for two years - who needs food. And my buddy was 'whatever'. So the next day, we packed up camp, ate some crunchy noodles picked up our packs (which despite consuming the quarter packet of noodles had strangely doubled in weight). And much to the annoyance of my glutes set off for day two of our adventure...

Big White is AWESOME! Cos the People 4 and Moonshine...

No... not the drink... the place. It is at Big White, in Snowpines, phase 1... 

Why am I writing about it? Well my buddy Blue developed it, and my buddy is AWESOME! And at Big White - doubly AWESOME! But apparently he snores - and he is not shy about his nocturnal, noise making ability. Actually RDKB has a budget allocation of $5000 per annum dedicated to address noise pollution at Big White... eh eh? 

Look... staircase leading to the bathroom... pretty nice eh? Yes Chris

Moonshine is AWESOME! The best, well, apart from everything I developed (of course)... it is one of my favourite properties. There are four apartments (Jo lives in one) all very groovy! 

Blue's place is split over four levels, one master bedroom has a separate staircase leading to the ensuite bathroom... 

Wood panelled vaulted ceilings, floors (ooh! a place with floors) made of something (I can't remember I was drinking my fourth glass of wine). But the floor is there I assure you - I was able to lie on it without falling off.


But look how nice my pictures turned out! Far better than the real thing I tell you... okay the room is nice, whatever.

And yes the bathroom is okay, slate surround, sunken bathtub... but who cares about that stuff? Not me.

Off course I took a picture of the toilet - most important piece of porcelain in the room... Let me tell you about my morning ablutions... Wait, what...? You don't want to know? Whatever, your loss.









Okay, I'll talk a little bit about the kitchen instead... it is a kitchen. It is where the coffee making magic happens, or where the beer/wine is stored... oh and food... and cooking, cleaning etc.  Wait... did you know that already... am I waisting my time with this?



And the living room is a living room... sofa, wood burning fireplace, with a fantastic view of the Monashees - through the windows... but you can't see it in the picture - but they are there, behind that cloud, the Big White one, it is famous.


Did I mention wood burning fireplace - romantic eh?  
No. the wood is stored outside, in the snow, in the cold, a long way from the cozy warmth of indoors - wood burning fireplace... pah! Through that door there, the one where you ski in/out of, next to the comfy sofa - inconvenient eh... who wants comfy?

And finally the last bedroom - it sleeps... people, crazy eh? Man sometimes I ask myself where do I come up with this brilliant writing - I could be Shakespeare or Dickens - both started with a blog... true story.

Okay, here is the pitch - these two bedrooms are available to the right people - Blue is looking for -

Two couples or a couple and two singles. Clean, tidy, respectful, must be able to live with and behave appropriately around children. And be a guitar instructor - his daughter is learning.

Actually guitar instructor is not critical but it may reduce your rent a little... The place is available now through April. Blue will be delivering a yacht until New Year so the place will be all yours until then... I was gonna go sailing with him but apparently I don't meet the criteria - I could behave appropriately if I wanted... 

If you are interested, meet the criteria or just want to know about my bathroom activities, send me an email or contact me through Facebook  yes they are links, mouse over them.