So we start the hike, me carrying everything and him with probably nothing - I get over the unable to move thing... okay it is not so bad... We are in the woods, there are critters everywhere, the sun is shining through the trees, the air is as fresh as at Big White. It is a bit more humid cos of the ocean - but I don't mind, it makes my long flowing locks all curly... I show these off to baldy over there... regularly... Ha... Baldy!So we walk for four hours... cos baldy is so slow... dude, pick up the pace... I can't wait to get home, food, cosy bed, ear scratching and belly rubs - excellent. So we stop at a beach and it is kind of late and numpty over there starts putting up a big orange thing... where is the Globe, where is my bed, where are my little luxuries... then he pulls out a sleeping bag... Wait, what...? We are sleeping here, on these rocks...? Okaaay... you have brought a thermal mat and sleeping bag for me... yes...?
No!!! wtf dude, WTF...! We are over, done, finito...! Dumb-ass.
So he goes to sleep and I am watching him... from my 'cosy' rocks... but he did feed me... so I let him live another day... actually it was pretty good - crunchy pad thai - yum!
The next day we are up bright and early, I am ready instantly - baldy has to take down his tent, roll up his mat, pack his sleeping bag, load up his back-pack - dude do you... oh, crunchy pad thai noodles again... yum!And then we are off... up and down these hills, up and down, up and down... why? Even though I am carrying everything, baldy over there is sweating like a pig - ha! Baldy!
Eventually I smell a bear, but I ain't gonna say anything - you want the sleeping mat and bed? You can deal with the bear... man it is loud and stinky - chomping his food like there is no tomorrow "Om... nom.. nom... nom" Baldy does not hear him, does not smell him, does not see him until the bear is looking at him... up close, personal and er irritated... Ha! Baldy scurries away like a little critter... bet you wish you had some big teeth now eh... quick beat him off with your sleeping bag... Ha! dumb-ass... he pulls out a knife and starts to whistle - are you kidding me, like that is going to save you...
Okay, I figure baldy is gonna get himself hurt, so I deal with the situation - I give the bear my best 'look' and he is gone. And what thanks do I get? None... no, I don't like peanuts.
11 hours today - I could have done that in two... I decide to lead - sick of the view of baldy's butt, of course I have to keep coming back for him, waiting for him, scaring away the bears for him... We get to the next campsite and it is pretty cool - the beach is sand, not rocks - whose idea was the rocks anyway...? Baldy builds me a little campfire to keep warm, I have more crunchy noodles, the sand is soft... I am drifting away to the sound of the sea... Critters come in the middle of the night, chew on baldy's back pack - I explain the situation to them and they disappear - no thanks again...
Up... not as early, baldy does his packing thing, I go and cruise and mark, cruise and mark - I visit the next camp - of course they love me, it is my curly locks... they speak to baldy a bit and we are all off.So this turns out to be the longest and most boring day, the best thing I can say about it... it ended, of course Baldy had to do two detours, why? Cos he is a Dumb-ass. Baldy carried my pack a bit... one km out of 52 - I saved your life dude... 'even' you think...? No, no, no...
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