Friday, 20 December 2013

Big White is AWESOME! Big White Ski School.

So I said to Michael J "Do you read my blog?"
"No, I don't read…" ah yes…


He finished the sentence with some other words... but I already had my quote...

So… Ski School.
It all started when I was in the army, Germany… Osnabruck to be precise. My roommate Daz (we have a lot of abbreviated names ending in Z in the army - Daz, Woz, Loz, Shez, Moz, Doz… it is not cos we are louts who cannot enunciate our words… it helps with security… yes it does… yes... it does).

Sorry, sidetracked. Daz was on the Regimental Alpine Ski Team. Every year the regiment sent a team of 8 to various ski resorts train and compete in the Army winter games. I wanted to be on the team…

Well who wouldn't - free accommodation, equipment (except boots and clothes), food, extra pay… And world class ski instruction - we had race instructors from the Austrian Alpine C' Team.

8 weeks… and you are paying me extra? Er… yes please captain. We stayed at Anne-Marie's house - perfect massive Austrian shot-putter, type woman - we loved her. She was a world champion sledder (more weight than aero-dynamic advantage me thinks… and yes apparently there is such a thing). 

Now, there was one slight obstacle… I had never been on snow… ever… Yes we had snow in Wigan, yes I made a sled out a truck's mud-guard, yes we went sledding (mud-guarding) at the old mine… Now if you are coming to the conclusion that I grew up poor you would be wrong… we couldn't afford to be poor, we were envious of all the poor kids and the stuff they had like clothes, food, heat and education…

Anyway I was not on the team… yet… a week before the teams departure, one guy dropped out. Instantly I marched to the (very busy) ski team officer's office… "Sir, I want to join the ski team."
He asked me one question and it was an important question (for me) "Have you ever skied before?"
"Yes Sir."
"Okay, you will need… da da da and da"
"No problem Sir."
"We leave on… da da"

And that was that, I was on the Regimental Alpine Ski Team. "Hey wait a minute, you have never skied…" Well… technically it was not a lie… and I was only asked one question… not how much… or what type… 

Lets go back in time a bit, 33 years… "When ah wuz a lad o' 12 (Lancashire accent here please… it's a bit like a Yorkshire accent but less expensive) grewin up wi art clothes an stuff…" I did two hours of grass skiing… 12 and on grass - a kind of tracked boot. So... not really a lie... more of an omission captain... - but army training - direct and to the point, Sir!

By the time Captain Harry (Haz - for security reasons…) found out, we were in Austria, and it was too late… "Just how much skiing have you done Sapper…?" 
"Er… well, you see sir…" Haz came from a wealthy upper class background… but I liked him anyway.

I fell in love with skiing, it was the only sport (bar squash) for which I had any passion - and that was day one! By the end of the first week I was claiming I was gonna crush my team-mates. And you know what? Yes! I failed... in epic style. But I was hooked. I crashed lots… Lots! My first pair of boots lasted exactly 6 days… but hooked!

And it was not like Big White where you step out your door, clip on your skis and go… No, our village (Fulpmes) was 40 mins drive from the bottom of the mountain, a 30 min line-up to get on the gondola, and then a 30 minute gondola ride to the ski area… Good god man, how long!? And the same going back (but in reverse - I know, I know, but there is a chance Paul is reading…) basically 5 hours of travel and 6 hours of skiing. And you wonder why I think Big White is Awesome?

It was quite nice tho

This is a pic I didn't take on a day I wasn't there.

Get on with it dude… 
Okay, Big White Ski School... It is AWESOME!

Wait… what…? You want more, but, I have written tons already…

Oh, okay… 

That was 25 years ago, when skis were straight, and long… Anyway when I arrived at BW I thought I could ski. I could, kinda. Yes I could get down the mountain, yes I could turn - parallel slide right, parallel slide left... and repeat… gud ah wer...

Bumps? No.
Powder? No.
Trees? No.
Center Balance? No.
Challenging terrain? No.
Flailing arms…? Yes, I could do those.

Groomed runs? Yes, I could slide those. And Big White provide those in abundance… actually it is the groomer guys… three cheers for them, woohoo! And er… sorry about my dog and… thanks for not 'grooming' him… we will take him to Pet Smart… 

So... I was supposed to have a meeting with the head of ski school - Josh Foster… Josh is a funny guy, he kept me waiting... and waiting... and waiting… after a hour and despite the fun laughing at the joke, I had to leave... Instead I spoke to Blake who is so much nicer than Josh. Unlike Josh I find Blake intelligent, articulate, erudite, far better looking and is occasionally naked… in bars people, in bars… what is wrong with you guys...

Ok - ski levels. 
Big White has 7, level 4 ski instructors. Do you know how long it takes to become level 4? FOREVER! Longer than a doctor! And the pay is way, way less. And even worse, you cannot self medicate… Boo! Luckily for me I did not become a doctor, or a ski instructor - instead I started a land development company… and lost everything… yay...

And level 3…? I have no idea… my research budget is not that high, most of the stuff I make up anyway. But Big White has a higher ratio of level 4 instructors than Whistler! (made that bit up too… not really, it is true).


But the point is Ski School game me so much mountain - and there are lots of instructors.

So, go take advantage of the highly qualified, highly experienced ski instructors at Big White - they don't do it to get rich, they do it because they love to ski…!

Is that good enough Michael? Can I have my pass back now?

Pitch-
Sólido Properties lives, owns, rents, manages property, ski (better now) and loves living at Big White. And for those looking for a place to stay this (2013/14) season… we have nothing left. But contact us anyway and we can provide personalized message telling you "not a chance..."

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