Bottom wiper to T-Laz, amongst other things like being British, yes, yes, you know the place where humour comes from. Actually most countries have humour (except Germany of course...)
Oh... tangent...
Did I ever tell you about the German border guards? No...?
A long long time ago in a country far far away... Bosnia actually, I was working for the UN in Tuzla (North East Bosnia). Susan and I were on leave and visiting Fulpmes in Austria, which is pretty close to the German border; and just over the German border is Garmisch - a beautiful little town that happened to have an American military base, complete with a PX.
What's a PX? I hear you ask. Let me tell you; a PX is one of those military stores that provides American goods, tax free to military personnel... and being an ex British Army type dude I had rights n stuff, well I had an ID card.
Sooo, we set off to the PX, I was driving and we get to the German border, "Kin ve see your driverz licenze pleaze?" (a german accent is pretty tough). I gave him my UN license - good for all over the world... except Germany apparently. "You cannot enter wid zees... do you have some zing elze?"
Now... it just so happened that Susan had an international drivers license, honest, straight laced, rule abiding Susan... had an expired international license... well, expired in the normal sense of the definition. The license is valid for 12 months and her license expired in 1995, to get her UN license for 1996 she had to produce a valid international license, not easy to do in 'a land far far away' unless of course you change the 5 to a 6... then voila... Legal! Well in a 'hope I don't get caught' kind of way. I can see you are shocked.
The German border guards were happy to see (glance at) the license and let us proceed... with Susan driving of course... Coming back was a bit different, we get to the border and Susan hands her 'forged' license to the new border officers... who look at it... closely... and then disappear... and then reappear with a 'look' on their faces... and then ask us to exit the car... and go into this little room... interrogation room... 'zis ees not correct!'... Who would guess the Germans would be able to identify (un)professionally forged documents...? Ah... well you see officer, I just met her... I didn't know she was participating in international criminal activities... I'm ex-british Army, I have Thatcher on my side...
Anyway, long story short we were fined Dm 200 and released, actually she was fined... we paid. However the none too friendly (with Susan) border officers told her she could not drive with her 'doctored' license... At that point I brought out my UN license, "Can I drive with this...?" saving the day again, and off we went.
Of course somebody was mad a somebody else... yes I did tell you to get out your license, yes I did know it was 'edited'... yes to other stuff too, but I did not do the editing in the first place did I? For some reason logic does not pass as a valid position...
So... yes, Lucy Gilbert, of the Gilbert and Sullivan fame, yes, she is related to her dad, who has the same name as one of the singers. True story.
Anyhow... Lucy did a whole bunch of stuff for the Bike, Hike and Beverage (did you get the t-shirt?) weekend. She was the one behind the desk looking really really really happy, in one of the 'I'm effin miserable' ways. Lucy is really good at those looks.
And I missed mentioning her in my last blog... the girl she wipes the bottom for was up in arms about this, which is important because if you have seen Taryn's arms they are longer than Lucy's feet. 'No-way dude!' 'Yes, way, dude!' When you see her on the slopes... look closely, those are not skis my friend...
Apparently Lucy is a bit OCD... when she has a meal none of the food types on her plate can touch each other and she has something called a 'king-bite' the last best bit, the most tastiest morsel, the pure, unadulterated, fat free, bite sized portion, saved for the very last delicious bite. I can see her reasoning, I understand the compulsion, I have to respect Lucy's desire and need for food control - I cannot argue against the 'king-bite' way of life. It truly is the one element of pure control in a life of chaos (she works for Michael J... you know what I am talking about Lewis). Food peace/piece be with you Lucy.
Hey... did I tell you about the competition we are having this year? It is gonna be great, the prizes are awesome! Well it is beer so same thing. The rules are simple, rule one - steal Lucy's king-bite from her plate, rule two - eat said king-bite, rule three - take picture of Lucy. And the best thing... there are no limits, you can do this as many times as you want/can. Anyone who can do this will win a six-pack - pics must be provided. Sólido takes no responsibility for injuries incurred during the competition.
Okay, last bit. Loocey does not look like Zooey Deschanel, look at the pics below, they are nothing alike-
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| That is not a cherry my friend. |
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| No, please do try to take my king-bite... I won't mind... much. |
Sólido Properties rents, owns, lives, manages, avoids crazy tenants, drinks beer, gives away beer... sometimes, has fun making up stuff in a blog, keeps fit running away from people written about in said blog and needs more property gosh darn it - that is my southern American accent. Oh... and you see those annoying little ads around the page? You should click on those, it makes them go away... what, it didn't work? Try again... keep trying... try the other one... wait, refresh the page then try them all again. That should work... no? Click it twice, each... must be a glitch, come back and try again tomorrow.
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