Big White is AWESOME! Mission Idiotpossible!

Look at this. I did this post two years ago, but never actually posted it... So, after a little tweaking (I did some good grammar thingy, and sum spilling). And of course it was pre-hiking at Big White... And and and... don't try this at home.

...Remember the film Mission Impossible 2 with Tom Cruise? The start is him free climbing a treacherous cliff without ropes, harness or any safety equipment... once false move and he is strawberry jam. As he is doing his improbable climb, his mission arrives, he gets a message and cue the music - dum dum dum da da dum dum dum da da... Bond theme... easier to remember, but you get the idea.

Opening clip to MI2

So, I hike the mountain quite a bit, sometimes when alone I do more 'interesting' stuff... climbing the steep bits... as you look up the cliff chair I go up to the right, as you get to the point where you see the crazy snowboard/skier dudes doing their entertaining thing in the winter (crashing). I start to climb up. The going is easy... at first.. and then I get to the climby bits.

This way I think.

The route I am following is pulling me to the right; straight up is too technical - I only have hiking boots... this way seems to gives me the best route upwards. The downside of a traverse climb is the slope of the ground - for every foot I climb to the right, the ground drops off another foot - each foot higher means two feet further from the ground. Before I know it I am high, very high. At one point I am thinking I could base jump from this height, not that I have base jumped before... and I don't have a parachute but you know... I was probably wrong, but it was high.

Now it is not the fall that worries me, I am more concerned with the very rapid deceleration caused by those jagged boulders at the bottom.

Anyway I am at the point where continuing seems my best option. Have you ever climbed? Your eyes and head are close to your hands, not your feet. You can spot holds, spot your route and looking up is less scary... than looking down a 4000 feet drop towards those happy little killer rocks. So onwards it is, I am not that concerned at this point, I am moving, the climb is challenging but is doable.

I get to a bit of a crux and I manage (with quite a bit of difficulty) to get beyond the 'hard' bit. Now unfortunately as I get over the hard bit, the tiny hand and foot holds I used fracture away. I am spiderman-ing against the face and I notice for the first time the whole face is fractured... everything I touch is coming loose - big slivers of rock are breaking off in my hands. Despite my less than admirable performance in the brain department so far, i.e. what a dumbass, I am able to conclude (by myself) this could be tricky, as in 'OMG I'm gonna die...' tricky.

As difficult as it was getting up, it would be less fun getting down, even if the holds still existed... the don't. And with the rock fractures constantly coming loose, yes I am also a bit concerned with getting a 'tap on the head' (old Navy saying) from above - then performing my swan dive into those happy rocks. Anyway the shaky legs I have from 'muscle fatigue' (yes that is what I am calling it) subside, oxygen gets back to the noggin and I start to think. I cannot go up, I cannot go down, both sides are looking impossible... yes, Mission Impossible. Clip again - Opening clip

I am on the cliff!

So there I am doing my Tom Cruise bit on the Cliff and at that point (in true MI2 style) my phone rings - so still being spidey I answer the wife... "Where are you?" She barks, okay she enquires but this is my version.

"I am on the cliff" I answer honestly.

"Are you still going up, or on your way down?" she asks.

"I not sure..." well I am not, but she cannot hear me clearly anyway. "Can I call you back?" I ask, and hang up, yes I was a bit short with her but you know, I have a situation here and boy would she be mad at me if I killed myself - best be avoiding that situation... it could be 'tricky'.

So I am thinking of options. I am stuck but I am not panicking, I am stable in my spidey position - and I don't want to embarrass myself by calling 911 having search and rescue come and get me - no no no. So I figure a 'soft' rescue would work (for me - cos it is all about me). 

The fire dept. Yes, with a harness and rope, that would work - so I call Gareth, no answer (I should have been nicer to him I think). I call Brad in the Globe (love the Globe) 

"Do you have the chief's number?" I casually enquire... 

"No, he is on vacation." 

"Ah... do you have Chris's?" again, cool as a cucumber.

"I'll get it for you, let me call you right back"

By now I have been in this spot for probably 30-40 mins and I am still trying to work out a way down... And and and... my battery is almost dead, appropriate.

10 mins later and no call... I decide to get myself down. To be honest I don't really know how, I do recall at one point I was on a sheer face holding on with my finger tips and trying to reach a toe hold... and crying... Eventually I get to a easier area and I go up - I am hoping and hoping I don't hit a tough area again cos I am vertical and it is a long, long way down.

I reach the top, and then go down - I have to find my glasses, (whilst I was doing my Cruise thing those bloody horse flies kept trying to eat my head, and whilst trying to swat them away I knocked off my glasses - didn't see that in the movie), rescue one of my dogs (the barky one - you know which one) and find the other. Then I head down, I stop at the lake and drink the water... if it is good enough for ducks... it is good enough for dumb-asses.

As I am heading down the deputy fire chief calls me (well done Brad), I tell him I had an issue but everything is fine. It is about this point the battery in my phone dies. I have a meeting at 11am at the Globe and I head straight there - sweaty, dirty, and stinking - but hey, this is Big White. As I get through the door Brad says you had better call your wife... Susan had called the Globe got hold of Brad, Brad had told her I was trying to reach the fire Chief... I had been gone two hours longer than usual... why would I be two hours late and calling the fire chief...? 

So that is my Mission Idiotpossible story - at Big White - where else can you live where you can walk out your door and get stuck on a cliff? Big White is AWESOME!

So... finishing with my Pitch again, Sólido Properties is still alive and has a bunch of properties on the mountain, which surprise surprise... We Rent! Yay! Of course we do. If you have continued reading (I don't know why, I am not Shakespeare, this is not considered literature... but have) and you are looking for a place to live then... visit our website, or Facebook page.