Big White is AWESOME! Sick...!

But who cares...? As long as it is not you... yes?

Yes I know but I was sick, man sick, yes... Man Sick! Whatever... 

So I was looking to do an interview with one of my buddies that live, here but since I don't have any... I interviewed myself. No it is true, I brought my assistant to the Bullwheel - Kassie, she does not drink much, even though she is Aussie... No she is not sick. She said to me that morning "I was gonna go riding, but I had a cup of tea instead, was good."

"Let's go for a beer." I said, "You can drink tea if you want..."
"I will have some hot water with lemon." ... 

"Okaaay..." not really knowing how to respond, but please, someone help - 'Wild Child! For god's sake somebody contain this woman!"

Anyway, interview.
Me. - "So Chris, you are an attractive guy, how do you handle it?"
Me. - "What..? What kind of dumb-ass question is that?

Me - "Well, thank you Chris, moving on I think, you wear the Big White bobble hat quite a lot, why is that?"
Me - "it hides my bald spot quite well. Is that your best question? No wonder you have four readers..."

Me - "Good answer... er... tell me something about yourself, something that few people know about..."
Me "Better... I have been shelled, shot at, mortared and I grassed up one of my best friend's... who then almost had me killed..."

Me - "Shelled...?
Me - "105 Howitzer I think, from the Serbs - the shell landed 40m away... shrapnel hit the vehicle in front of me... went through the engine block, gear box, into the cab, hitting the door and final falling to the ground... I kept the fragment - the 'bullet' with my name on it. Lost it now tho...

Me - "Grassed up your best friend...?"
Me - "To his dad... I agreed to bite the bullet. Two brothers, one said help... 'I can't do it' he said... 'okay' I agreed... it was drugs. He had druggy friends... with big sticks."

Me - "Okaaay. You are married and very happy? Where did you meet?
Me - "Tuzla, North East Bosnia, during the fall of Srebrenica. It was the middle of July, 40 degrees and the Serbs hit the village. We had 11,000 refugees arrive at the airbase, all women and children. It was chaos, we were drilling holes to search for water, women were giving birth... The world was watching... and 6000 men were executed... we were the UN... we did nothing..."

Me - "...I'm getting lost..."
Me - "...I still am..."

Me - "...Still?"
Me - "Yes... no... a bit..."

Me - "What do you love about your wife?"
Me - "Her mind... nothing else matters... the body is a bonus though :)"

Me - "Kids?
Me - "Yes two - kids are interesting, you realize that there are other people for whom you would die... and kill..."

Me - "Travel?"
Me - "Lots of places, ugly and pretty. Love New Zealand, Australia is okay, Europe is cultural and deep and oozes history but is crowded... USA is scary, very scary, Middle-East, not really; and the Baltic states, stunning landscapes and lots of history, but I have seen enough."

Me - "Where would you live? I mean, lets say you were ridiculously rich, unlimited funds. South of France, Monaco, Caribbean...?
Me - "Big White."

Me - "No, you are joking, c'mon be serious, unlimited funds anywhere man, where would you live?
Me - "Okay... If I had a choice I would want somewhere where my kids could walk to school, we spend enough time in cars so the school would have to be close. And the school would have to be good, not good as in producing a series of prime ministers but good as in giving the kids a happy and mentally challenging environment. I would live in a place that I could walk to restaurants, a place that was clean with fresh air. I would want a place that was not congested with traffic or millions of unknown people. A place that I could walk into any bar and know someone, someone who is not false, someone who choses their life. A place that I could pursue outdoor activities on a daily basis, a place I could take my dogs walking for hours and never see another soul. A place that I could call any number of people and say 'help' knowing the help would come. A place I don't have to worry about my kids, a place where they will get enough exercise, a place culturally diverse, a place that when I drive home my shoulders relax.

Me - "So...?
Me - "So... Big White... sorry"

Me - "What about stuff, possessions like er... a sports car? Don't you want a Porsche?
Me - "Yes. If I was rich I would have a Porsche... And live at Big White. I would also have a private jet, and still live at Big White."

Me - "What about a big fancy house?"
Me - "You know, I built The Edge, they were quite fancy. If I had unlimited funds I would probably build myself a nicer house, more gadgets, more stuff - tv's, stereos... maybe... tho I don't like tv... but... at Big White."

Me - "What about a career, you have an MBA..."
Me - "Yes I do... I did the MBA for me, for my mind. Yes at one point I thought I wanted more... corporate life... high pressure, responsibility, suits, expense accounts... I had it. I consulted for a hedge fund, I controlled the destiny of a 45 year old company, a $250m project, a legacy... I was told to kill the company "More profit Chris"... I said 'fuck you'... I saved the company... Hedge Fund? They tried to sue me - $30m and then $20m... get behind the queue... Besides, I once fell into the abyss, I couldn't push someone in... I don't have a career... I ski. The FBI said 'you could have made $35m...' And then what... go on the run for the rest of my life...? Where would I live...? Not Big White.

Me - "What next?"
Me - "I did my level one ski instructors course."

Me - "You are gonna teach people to ski...?"
Me - "Maybe... depends if they will have me or not... I'm gonna take my level two in March..."

Me - "But..."
Me - "What...? It's not my background? It's not building a $40m project...? It does not employ my MBA?

Me - "Well... yes..."
Me - "I do other stuff as well... ski instructing is not for the money... it is for fun... it is my Porsche...

Me - "Okay... I see. Other stuff...? Wink wink"
Me - "Yes, I write a crappy blog, about stuff... I make up..."

Big White is AWESOME! Cos the People 7… Gabe...

Unshaven… Wait… what…?

Gabe is my favourite person on the mountain… well, favourite named Gabe anyway. I am not sure if Gabe is an abbreviated version of the popular boys name - Gaberdine… who knows.

Anyway 'Gabe' mentioned that I had not bogged for a while… I said I went this morning… twice… not that it is any of your business "Blogged...! blogged…!"

Okay, okay, keep your gaberdine shirt on… 



So Gabe is quite handsome in that rugged Australian Outback kind of way… (less Crocodile Dundee more Koala Bear…) but you know what I mean.


And he is single… yes girls (or boys - he never indicated his preferences… but he lives with four other boys…) single… hmmm… girls girls… eh? Or boys boys… eh eh? (Just in case).

Kassie and I went down to drop beer off and he told me all about himself… 25, single, no kids, never married, devastatingly handsome (opinions vary) a skier, clean shaven, rugged good looks (yes I know I mentioned this bit but he kept telling me…), longish wavy hair… Gabe does not follow trends - as you can see he keeps his facial hair cleanly presented. Gabe prefers finger or paw food and has almost mastered the art of selecting the right sized leaf for consumption… almost… 

And he is a Cartographer for Lonely Planet! How cool is that!!! Yeah... I have no effin idea either… but it is a big word…

Me man… got no hole in wall… got beer!
(I promise there is no innuendo here)

One of the 'Boys' Gabe lives with is Cody… but he has to leave… as a landlord I am very easy going, mellow… good god man I even bring beer! (well to my good tenants anyway… what…? You never got beer? Do you have a hole in the wall…? Yes? No beer for you!)

But have you seen Cody's haircut? Yes? Okay you understand. Wait… just having a thought here, maybe the haircut is part of the culture of that lifestyle preference… maybe… Cos you know I told the boys I have a couple of girls that could replace Cody, and at least one is cute… (I have only seen one…) and they were like, er… well… I dunno… maybe… we have to ask the other boys… Oh… okaaay then.

I even tried to sell them Kassie... but no… they gave me that look, you know the one your wife gives you when she says nothing, but you know she is thinking 'dumb-ass… again…' 

I have mentioned Kassie before and look she is completely trained in handling Koala bears… and drinks that are bigger than her head… not sure what her friend is pawing tho… baby Big Birds maybe…?












Anyhoo… time for a pitch… Sólido Properties owns, manages, guarantees income, abuses tenants, facilitates drinking problems and er… you know other stuff as well… 

Big White is AWESOME! Random Musings and New Year 2013.

Happy New Year Everyone! 

I hope you all had fun and the residual hangovers are not too bad…
What did we do?
Wait… what… you don't want to know? Well I will tell you anyway...

We hosted a party for the older school kids - the plan was hockey at 7pm… Ha! Did you see the skating rink? It was PACKED! Yes, capitals for emphasis… But it was great to see everyone happy, smiling and having a nice time. What better way to start the evening than some outdoor activity? Alcohol was noticeable by it's absence… Awesome! For everyone in Happy Valley… thanks for making it a great atmosphere.

8pm came and Big White put on one of there famous firework shows… and the rink went from un-focusable animation (think flocking birds) to dead still… Perfect I thought, as I stole the puck and scored… yeah! So what if she was six…

This is my 14th season at Big White… 14 seasons… Yes! I can walk past Michael J, or Peter & Peter or Kate… and recognize them… actually I think they are all a bit deaf, I yell and yell "Hey, Hey!" And it is only when I stand right in front of them do they say "oh… hi… er…" And they are always really really busy, cos the next thing they always say is "…er… gotta go..." well… they have a ski resort to run don't they… 

Vibrant this season!

I don't know about everyone else but it seems busier this year.  I often meet people on the chairlift and sometimes discuss other ski resorts… I am a little embarrassed to admit, I don't go to many… but I have my reasons… 

I live on the mountain. 

I step out my door and I step into my skis. At the end of my skiing I ski to my door...  Click - ski, click - home... er... pretty easy. We went to Whistler for a ski competition (my son). Besides driving the 7 hours each way, we had to catch a bus from our accom to ski… we had to stand at a bus stop... to... ski! Ahhh!

Lift Lines

Yes, this week has seen some lift lines, New Years Eve and the Saturday after Christmas were particularly (relatively) busy. I am used to zero, so 10 minutes is f o r e v e r… but then I think ooh I could be on a bus… Ever been skiing in Europe…? Ski lift lines are a fact of life, 10 minute lift lines are a good day.

Easy.

Another busy day at Big White.

You don't need a vehicle here, everything is in walking distance… yes maybe Snowpines is a 10-20 minute jaunt but you very rarely hear people say "I need less exercise." And if you do 'need' less exercise... Big White provides a free shuttle… Easy.

Seasonal Staff - yes you guys!
Kudos to you! You escape from the world for a different life experience. You have one chance on the planet, yup one life. In twenty years none of you will look back and say "I wished I had stayed home…"

I respect that you take a break from the corporate life - at Big White you can find lawyers, doctors, physiotherapists, nurses, electricians, mechanics, plumbers, marketing execs… serving you coffee, or teaching you to ski, or finding you accommodation…  So as a visitor remember on balance the girl or guy serving you that glass of wine is educated, experienced and is world travelled… and they are taking a pay cut to do so, you are lucky… so be nice!


So you seasonal staff… You are AWESOME! ...Except Brad the electrician, he is just okay. No not the sparky Brad that lives with Brad, or the sparky Brad that works at Globe, the other sparky Brad - you know, giant Jazz Hand, Brad.






Snow. Best in BC!

It always snows, always. I competed in the army winter games in 1990 - Le Grand Bornand, France. In February of that year they had zero snow. No, not zero snow in February - zero snow for the season up to Feb when we left.

I skied in Austria (don't recall the resort) snow was guaranteed. Great! Yes, well, not so great, skiing in June at Big White is better… Yes, the Austrian resort was green with little paths of snow - that is not skiing, that is misrepresentation.

I am spoilt, I take the snow at Biggie for granted! 

Friendly, cosy, familiar.
I have met lots of first time visitors over the years. Regardless of their financial situation

they usually say the village is small... initially they almost seem disappointed… but, they come back… again… and again… and again. Why? Well, they have more quality time here… more time skiing, more time with family, less time driving, more time relaxed. 

And then they get to know people, the locals, the business owners the other families that visit… they walk into Beano's or Globe and see familiar faces, John or Jude or Al (the legend).

So they go home and they realize they had the best ski vacation ever… ever! Wife is happy, kids are happy, hubby is happy. And they also realize they got value for their dollar - from service, to accommodation to ski instruction… 

And the accommodation is (truly) world class (look ->) more skiing, more family time… it is a popular formula...

The pictures are of The Edge they are not bad eh? That window is 25' high… and that kitchen… yes IKEA, Ha! And IKEA used it in their marketing… well the IKEA kitchen installers did… well they stole a book with pictures of the kitchens. Close enough for me. And look at that toaster… yes, makes toast...

So they come back...

Okay okay, I am biased, I love Big White… but I have good reason too :)

So pitch again, if you got this far... you can switch off now…

Sólido Properties owns, manages, rents, and develops (pretty nice) real estate (when it is not broke anyway). Skis, drinks beer and loves Big White! 

Happy New Year!

Big White is AWESOME! Big White Ski School.

So I said to Michael J "Do you read my blog?"
"No, I don't read…" ah yes…

He finished the sentence with some other words... but I already had my quote...

So… Ski School.
It all started when I was in the army, Germany… Osnabruck to be precise. My roommate Daz (we have a lot of abbreviated names ending in Z in the army - Daz, Woz, Loz, Shez, Moz, Doz… it is not cos we are louts who cannot enunciate our words… it helps with security… yes it does… yes... it does).

Sorry, sidetracked. Daz was on the Regimental Alpine Ski Team. Every year the regiment sent a team of 8 to various ski resorts train and compete in the Army winter games. I wanted to be on the team…

Well who wouldn't - free accommodation, equipment (except boots and clothes), food, extra pay… And world class ski instruction - we had race instructors from the Austrian Alpine C' Team.

8 weeks… and you are paying me extra? Er… yes please captain. We stayed at Anne-Marie's house - perfect massive Austrian shot-putter, type woman - we loved her. She was a world champion sledder (more weight than aero-dynamic advantage me thinks… and yes apparently there is such a thing). 

Now, there was one slight obstacle… I had never been on snow… ever… Yes we had snow in Wigan, yes I made a sled out a truck's mud-guard, yes we went sledding (mud-guarding) at the old mine… Now if you are coming to the conclusion that I grew up poor you would be wrong… we couldn't afford to be poor, we were envious of all the poor kids and the stuff they had like clothes, food, heat and education…

Anyway I was not on the team… yet… a week before the teams departure, one guy dropped out. Instantly I marched to the (very busy) ski team officer's office… "Sir, I want to join the ski team."
He asked me one question and it was an important question (for me) "Have you ever skied before?"
"Yes Sir."
"Okay, you will need… da da da and da"
"No problem Sir."
"We leave on… da da"

And that was that, I was on the Regimental Alpine Ski Team. "Hey wait a minute, you have never skied…" Well… technically it was not a lie… and I was only asked one question… not how much… or what type… 

Lets go back in time a bit, 33 years… "When ah wuz a lad o' 12 (Lancashire accent here please… it's a bit like a Yorkshire accent but less expensive) grewin up wi art clothes an stuff…" I did two hours of grass skiing… 12 and on grass - a kind of tracked boot. So... not really a lie... more of an omission captain... - but army training - direct and to the point, Sir!

By the time Captain Harry (Haz - for security reasons…) found out, we were in Austria, and it was too late… "Just how much skiing have you done Sapper…?" 
"Er… well, you see sir…" Haz came from a wealthy upper class background… but I liked him anyway.

I fell in love with skiing, it was the only sport (bar squash) for which I had any passion - and that was day one! By the end of the first week I was claiming I was gonna crush my team-mates. And you know what? Yes! I failed... in epic style. But I was hooked. I crashed lots… Lots! My first pair of boots lasted exactly 6 days… but hooked!

And it was not like Big White where you step out your door, clip on your skis and go… No, our village (Fulpmes) was 40 mins drive from the bottom of the mountain, a 30 min line-up to get on the gondola, and then a 30 minute gondola ride to the ski area… Good god man, how long!? And the same going back (but in reverse - I know, I know, but there is a chance Paul is reading…) basically 5 hours of travel and 6 hours of skiing. And you wonder why I think Big White is Awesome?

It was quite nice tho

This is a pic I didn't take on a day I wasn't there.

Get on with it dude… 
Okay, Big White Ski School... It is AWESOME!

Wait… what…? You want more, but, I have written tons already…

Oh, okay… 

That was 25 years ago, when skis were straight, and long… Anyway when I arrived at BW I thought I could ski. I could, kinda. Yes I could get down the mountain, yes I could turn - parallel slide right, parallel slide left... and repeat… gud ah wer...

Bumps? No.
Powder? No.
Trees? No.
Center Balance? No.
Challenging terrain? No.
Flailing arms…? Yes, I could do those.

Groomed runs? Yes, I could slide those. And Big White provide those in abundance… actually it is the groomer guys… three cheers for them, woohoo! And er… sorry about my dog and… thanks for not 'grooming' him… we will take him to Pet Smart… 

So... I was supposed to have a meeting with the head of ski school - Josh Foster… Josh is a funny guy, he kept me waiting... and waiting... and waiting… after a hour and despite the fun laughing at the joke, I had to leave... Instead I spoke to Blake who is so much nicer than Josh. Unlike Josh I find Blake intelligent, articulate, erudite, far better looking and is occasionally naked… in bars people, in bars… what is wrong with you guys...

Ok - ski levels. 
Big White has 7, level 4 ski instructors. Do you know how long it takes to become level 4? FOREVER! Longer than a doctor! And the pay is way, way less. And even worse, you cannot self medicate… Boo! Luckily for me I did not become a doctor, or a ski instructor - instead I started a land development company… and lost everything… yay...

And level 3…? I have no idea… my research budget is not that high, most of the stuff I make up anyway. But Big White has a higher ratio of level 4 instructors than Whistler! (made that bit up too… not really, it is true).

But the point is Ski School game me so much mountain - and there are lots of instructors.

So, go take advantage of the highly qualified, highly experienced ski instructors at Big White - they don't do it to get rich, they do it because they love to ski…!

Is that good enough Michael? Can I have my pass back now?

Pitch-
Sólido Properties lives, owns, rents, manages property, ski (better now) and loves living at Big White. And for those looking for a place to stay this (2013/14) season… we have nothing left. But contact us anyway and we can provide personalized message telling you "not a chance..."

Big White is AWESOME! YUM! And Cos the people 6… Lakatie...

Official Sport of the Blarney Stone.

I played squash last night… did you know it is the new preferred sport of the Blarney Stone? True!

It used to be that Irish Sport (and no not Irish as in Paul Irish… smart Irish) Hurling… Yes, it is a famous sport… fourteen people play it… twice a decade… if it is sunny. Did you know it only rains twice a year in Ireland? Jan to June and July to December. True.

Actually one of the reasons Hurling is so difficult to play is the equipment… you have to be sober to create a stick - can you imagine cutting these angles drunk…?

And another interesting and lessor known fact - Hurling was invented by Lululemon…!


So Yum!

Invented by Lululemon.

I am in the Blarney Stone… wait... let me back up a little… bit more… further...

…Ok. Last night I played the Blarney Stone sport - Squash. I drove all the way to Penticton (in the snow) at dark-o-clock to play a match… two hours there, two hours back… all for a 5 game match. Well, five games if I had managed to win... or get a game... or two… it was a three game match… cos I got my ass-kicked 3-0…


Actually, last night, my shots were very accurate. This is a squash court… do you see the tin (it says Tin on it)? Well, the front wall covers an area of roughly 300 sq ft. The Tin  - 27 sq ft (ish). Well my accuracy was so good that I was able to consistently hit the tin... more than the front wall anyway… and a travel bonus, there was still 10 minutes of the day left when I got home.



Anyhoo… with squash being the best all-round, most physically demanding and mentally challenging (my blog, my opinion) sport in the world… I worked really really really hard... at having my ass kicked... really hard! This means I burned millions of calories, (two million actually) which needed to be replenished, therefore it is why I am at the Blarney Stone… eating breakfast - the most important meal of the day.

And the breakfast is YUM! Look at that - even with my iPhone pic it looks good!

My wife said bring home the leftovers… wait… what…? "You won't eat it all!" She was right… I had to leave that piece of bacon… look close… closer… top right hand corner of the plate (I know it is round), there you go.

Research...

And by the time I had finished, it was after twelve… somewhere... and being an Irish pub (Tavern) I thought it wouldn't be right if I passed on desert… Of course for research reasons only…

So yes, breakfast at the Blarney Stone is Yum!!! (Yes, triple emphasis - it is that good) and dare I say it… Big White good… Ka-pow(der)! Did you like that play on words Michael J? …No you can't use it.

But Captain…
What about the people?
Ah yes, thanks for reminding me.

Lakatie Nakia is a people… I think… (actually the correct spelling is Likadiaphant (but she does not know this yet)

Despite everything I am Lakatie's fourth favourite person on the mountain… named Chris… who is bald… with a beard… born on Christmas Day… Yes! Fourth! She said so herself! She also mentioned that she is accepting applications for people to become acquaintances - please contact Likatie if -

• Your name is Chris
• You are bald.
• You have a beard.
• Was born on Christmas day and…
• Live at Big White…

She is looking for three people.

Lakatie also has some isms… they are so cute you just want to chop her up into little pieces sometimes…

• On meeting my wife she opened the conversation with "… you are old…" Ha! Good one! Susan laughed until she cried… well, without any of the laughing bits.
• On seeing us for the first time this season she starts with "Hi… I didn't know you guys were still married…" Classic!

Yum…! Almost as good as breakfast.

For a while there were some ugly rumours circulating and recently it was confirmed - Lakatie is a Zombi (is that generic plural/masculine? Is singular feminine, zomba?) 

Regardless, photographic evidence has been secretly sourced… Stay away from Lakatie if you want to keep your brains on the unexposed and preferred side of your ear… 

Another Victim is Captured...

Off course I could be wrong… (I have know to be wrong, ask my (still current Lakatie) wife) Lakatie is studying Sex and Violence against women… so these pics could just be innocent academic research.

Anyway… next week we will be exploring the exotic life of a pebble… 

Sólido Properties owns, manages, rents, chases delinquent tenants, writes a crappy blog, makes stuff up for personal amusement and has great, but skis poorly, at Big White… And is Lakatie's fourth favourite… eh?

Big White is AWESOME! Brad, Or Braddles… or Cuddles...

Cuddles has been doing a bit of work for me recently - and I have to flag up that his work is AWESOME! Who cares that is took 16 days for 4

Yes… look at my giant hand.

hours work… the important thing is the work is now complete and the quality of excuse(s) provided were second to none…

Day one -
No Cuddles - dunno, just didn't arrive.

Day two
Shit mate, I forgot to set my alarm… Of course home at 5am may have affected Cuddles's ability to push a button… 

Day three
"… 8am?" he says. "Coffee is on" I say… Cuddles goes riding... "What if I do Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning? I'll be finished by the weekend" He says...

Day four
Cuddles arrives on time… well almost... within two hours of the expected time…

Day five…
Cuddles arrives on time, well only 55 mins late… things are improving!

Day six…
No Cuddles… things are not improving...

Day seven…
"I am still coming round this morning, but it may be 9:30-10."
At 10 I get, "gonna be a bit longer… 11-11:30… if u r home…" Or 12:30… works… we don't mind waiting… it is not like we have kids, or businesses to run…

Day eight…
Ah… no Cuddles… 

Day nine…
2.5 hours after the scheduled arrival… the 'excuse' arrives "had a late night last night mate, had a bit of a sleep in…"

How does this work?

Day ten…
"F*** man I'm hopeless. Yer didn't set my alarm…" (not sure what 'Yer' means - could be Aussie slang, like 'Heaps') Damn those elusive buttons...

Day eleven…
We are now playing Cuddles Roulette… Is he coming, is he late, did he set his alarm, did he get drunk, did he work late, is there powder… will he recycle another excuse… 

8:16 Cuddles - "I am out of bed and well slept…"
9:25 Cuddles - "I'll be there in 5…"
10:15 Cuddles arrives… good job he slept well…

Day 12
No Cuddles but a… "Definitely tomoro mate…" Wait, what… no excuse…? Note* I think 'tomoro' is the Australian for tomorrow… Criminal! (He! he! he! he!)

Day 13
Following on from yesterdays "Definitely tomoro…" We have at 8:43 "wouldn't mind sneaking a ride in this morning if I have time…" At 8:43 remember… at 11:54 a mere three hours later, I get "I'll be a bit later than noon, only just got out…" really…? 
Cuddles arrives… 3pm (ish)

Day 14
At 3:45pm (PM!) Cuddles sends me a text to tell me he is unreliable… to 'tell' me? Glad we sorted that one out...

But I did get a "I'll be there tomoro. If my 'Word' still means anything to you."

Oooh! Serious Cuddles… Back to roulette… will Cuddles arrive? And on time?

Day 15
9:57am… "Will someone be home around 10:45 - 11?" Yes… Will you…? No… really?

Day 16
...Finished! 

So soon?

Actually Brad did an AWESOME! job. Thanks Brad!

The cheque is in the mail… I mean, I will bring you cash… when I get paid… I meant paid next month… I have to go to the bank… machine… in Sam's… oops I seem to have misplaced all my money... at the bar… can I give you a cheque?

Sólido Properties rents, manages, owns property… and listens empathetically to crappy excuses… 

Big White is AWESOME! Day Four...

Day Four… mountain has been open four days… an excellent start to the ski season with how much snow…? Er lots Captain.

Day one… woke up, was gonna ski, cleared drive instead. Waved at snow plough.

Day two… woke up, was gonna ski, cleared drive instead. Watched snow plough fill in my drive… cleared snow again.

Day three… woke up, took kids to school, cleared drive. Went into town, came home to find the plough had been… and f***** up my drive again. Stayed up late, cleared snow.

Day four… fresh powder again… yippee… :( didn't have time to clear drive. Snow plough came anyway… twice… been clearing snow for the last four hours. Just watching it snow… again… Buying a gun tomorrow.

Big White is AWESOME! Chickens and Cats… and Dogs

There is a new family coming to the mountain (yay!) cos their house burned down (booo!), they have kids (yay!) and a chicken… (what…?) and two dogs (yay!) they play tennis (booo!)

Tennis is the sport where you need boys to go fetch balls… and in a game you have six or seven of these boys (when I say boys I mean girls too) rubbish! You've seen it on TV? Too many umpires, too many ball boys, too many balls and way too much grunting - it is not wrestling… I think golfers should grunt.

Now squash… that is an elegant sport, one ball, no ball boys, and much faster than tennis… yes it is! Yes it is!!! Yes… it is.

Top speed in tennis is what 42 mph…? Ok, I know Samuel Groth 163.4 mph… yes ok, it is pretty fast…

But Squash… 178mph, and an average speed of 151 mph in a high level match… 15 mph faster than tennis… And squash is the sport that will burn more calories than any other racquet sport, and will get you fitter quicker… yes… or it will give you a coronary - but more fun than shovelling snow (popular in the heart attack community…) And you don't have to walk two miles to get the ball… and the ball is only 39.5mm in diameter… tennis balls 3 feet in diameter - how can you miss those?

And continuing with my off-topic diatribe - apparently I am in the age zone for heart attacks - being closer to 40 than 30… (alright, I am 45… but still closer to 40 than 30!) soooo Jenni Jenni Jenni, it is why I exercise and play squash, so there; go and hang some clothes on your treadmill...

Okay - Cats.
Don't like em, they are not friendly, they are not cuddly, they only greet you when they want something - food. They poop in the house, they slink around like slinky things, and I am allergic to them…

One of my tenants has a cat… the owner said 'yes you can have a cat' so they went out and bought a cat… and another cat. Two cats! Wait, what..? You didn't need me to do the math…? Now the good thing about cats…

• They made great guard dogs… no sorry my mistake, that's dogs.
• They are always glad to see you… er no sorry, dogs again.
• Make great hiking companions… oh, er yes dogs again.
• Are loyal… Ha.
• Are friendly… No.
• Are obedient… whatever.
• Make great rugs/coats… yes I said it. Nobody walks around in a luxury fur jacket made of dog...

And what happens when you go to someones house and you see a dog? You say 'hey buddy, how you doin…?' And the dog comes up and greets you, smells your crotch, slobbers on your hand etc etc. But! When you see a cat you say 'Is that a... cat…?' in the same way you would say 'is that a... slug…? In my salad…!?' It is true. And… you keep an eye on that slinky, yes you do. You watch it slink around cos you know subconsciously it is planning your demise - true.

I looked after a friends cat one time, and this was a regular cat - i.e. pissed off… or Scottish. It would attack if near. Now my friends went on vacation and I was tasked with feeding said cat. After a week the cat stopped attacking me, (give a Scot a beer…) after 10 days I could pet it, after the full two weeks it would greet me and be 'all rubbing up to me' in the kind of way you would find creepy, if it was your uncle… or Al Reid. Great! I thought, I have made friends with the attack cat.

My friends came back and the next day I went to see them and my new feline friend… or not  apparently… the original food source had returned and I had been demoted back down to thing to be disdained... or scratched (take beer away from a Scot). 

Now Chickens.
More precisely and coming full circle to the new people coming to big white, a chicken. Or their chicken, or their chicken named Serena (after the slow hitting tennis player (128.6 mph)).

Tennis or Chicken… the hair, look at the hair.

Serena started out as a meat chicken (this was way before the tennis thing) but she was scrawny - not a good thing, if you want to end up as someones chicken vindaloo... All the other tennis players would bully Serena, and she would not eat much food... One of the children took a shine to Serena and when it came to the day of reckoning, Serena was gone…! Hidden away from the thing that converts chickens into… yes, chicken… (tastes like cats).

Now with all those bullying tennis players gone, Serena thrived, to become the chicken she is today; became very friendly, very social - a part of the family... Serena made a nest in a little dog carrier thing - you know the plastic ones with the metal grate - and…  did I mention the fire thing… on returning to their house cinders, the family found the crate was but a blob of plastic/metal grate...

Eh eh?

ooh ooh ooh… tangent. The fire apparently started at the bbq, on the deck… now imagine being a broiler chicken, escaping the hatchet man, only to end up being roasted alive in a fire... caused by a bbq… what are the odds? Give Serena a lottery ticket...

However Serena had no intention of ending up as bbq'd chicken… …the story did not end, Serena did not go to the big tennis court in the sky. Serena did get a little 'crispy' in some feather areas… but escaped the toasty tomb… and is now happily strutting her stuff on a Belgo farm… probably dodging coyotes…

Sólido Properties rents, manages, and owns property, drinks beer, buys beer for tenants (hold on Chrissy it is coming), abuses people, takes advantage of a blog to further its own means and a whole bunch of other stuff that I can't think of right now… Oh, and thinks Big White is AWESOME!

Big White is AWESOME! November.

Hi Guys,
Someone mentioned to me today that they miss my blog, and why have I not been blogging?

As Nooner said - Busy, busy, busy… it is that time of year. Businesses are getting ready for the season start, snow is falling, seasonal staff are arriving, Sam's is busy serving beer to seasonal staff. So to keep Wendy happy, here is a little something to tide everyone over.

Snow!
How awesome is this! Three feet in a week!!! I phoned my buddy up this morning and said 'Hey, Pete dude. Tons of snow man, open the hill why don't you…?" And good old Pete, he said, "What? Who is this?" I know he was just joking cos the next thing you know November 16th is the new opening date… Yes, yes, I know, please, it was nothing... but you are Welcome… I quite like the Tree Brewing Vertical Winter Ale… if you are asking...

But you know all the business on the mountain are now going "WTF, we are not ready… Ahhh…!" But on the other side the seasonal staff are now saying "Thank-f***, we can now pay our rent… lets go out and celebrate… Yaaayyy!"

Not my renters of course, my renters are at home… cleaning. 

Actually talking of renters, this week I took a bunch of beer round to my tenants - some of them were very confused… 'What, wait, you are giving us beer? For free…? Beer...? Free…? Really…? Free…?' I was giving them beer, and it was free - it was kind of a welcome to Big White, thanks for the business, please don't trash the place and have wild parties kind of thing. Great! One group celebrated by having a noisy hot tub party in the middle of the night - bad tenants, no-more beer for you!

So, let me tell you about my girl. Kassie - she works for me, and she is AWESOME! In the Big White kind of way… yes! She is that good! But don't tell her, she will want a pay raise. Anyway (and I have to tread a little careful here, cos of wifey) did I ever get lucky, and boys on the mountain - Kassie is cute. Yes… blonde, has eyes (I don't know what colour, probably blue, or grey, or whatever) is 21, healthy (well, has all her teeth...) And... and... and… is single! Yes, unattached - no-one, nada, niente, nesnam nema nishta dobra in her life… (it is Croatian for no, never, nothing good). I don't know... I was trying to think of something that alliterates with the other words… stop asking questions, just go with the flow.

So boys, when I was your ages I did not have a clue about girls… not a clue. I had to find out the hard way that girls don't like drunken, leary, fally over, slurry word louts. Yeah...! I was surprised too! 

What has this got to do with anything…? Kassie - the way to Kassie's heart is through her boss! Yes! Bring him beer… Actually, I have no idea, but she likes dogs, is learning to snowboard, and used to like going to the gym… couple of options for you... take your dog snowboarding instead of the gym… and you are in!

Anyhoo, that is it from me today, good luck and good night.