Big White is AWESOME! You're a fork in Sane...

Nope, Big White has nothing to do with Japan... No, I have no idea why you would be interested in this... Yes, you probably do have better things to do with your time... 

Wait... are you... still reading...? Should I continue then? Wait, before I do start, it is about cycling, not skiing, or snowboarding; just in case if you were wondering.

The Japanese Odyssey, tomorrow (or October 31st 2018, for those not reading today...) it starts. 2600kms around the southern half of Japan, 50,000m or so of elevation gain... 10 days to finish... 10! Two or three ferries, 472 mountains (not really, just checking you are paying attention... but lots), washed out roads, no support, no beds, no food or water stations - just Checkpoints, no medical, no tracking (yes, I am lying)... and a partriiiidge in a pear tree. Sorry, I mean on a bike.

'My thoughts are with you...'
Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo.

Training.
"You're a fork in Sane..." That was Ana; it was 10pm, -6.5 degrees, snowing heavy, 1700m elevation, Big White road on a Friday night. Fork in sane? Not sure what she was on about (she (and John) have a number of restaurants... maybe it was a cutlery analogy... maybe...) and I have no idea where Sane is... Anyhow, Ana was the fifth person to stop and ask if I was okay - one guy didn't even ask, just stopped 50m ahead, got out of his car and started prepping his bike rack... "I'm okay but thanks" I told him. Ana, was the Fifth of maybe seven people who passed me that night - true you don't expect to see a cyclist riding up a mountain, on a Friday night, during a blizzard. Of course some people just ignore the 'idiot' on the bike... my boss for example - Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo, (real name, honest) the assistant director at Big White Ski School. My buddy... not, you understand, my best buddy...


That was three weeks ago, and yes I was training. Actually by the time Ana stopped, I can't deny I was ready to call it... Cold...? OMG - I had those booty overshoes on, but they were neoprene, wet-suit material, the stuff that soaks and uses body heat to create a warm barrier... unless the water freezes... not surprising really considering the wind-chill factor... if only there was a handy dandy chart somewhere...


Not that I could go that fast anyway... my gears had also frozen so I could not select the fast one...

I copied this image all by myself - true story.

But, I could get home, jump in a hot shower, melt in front of the fire and drink a scotch... not on this event though... I get to keep my stinking, sweaty (or frozen) bike gear on and climb into a bivy bag... on the side of a road, on a deserted mountain road, in a strange country 8,000kms from home... in November... speaking and reading absolutely nothing of the language. Oh... and on a completely separate note, my wife increased my life insurance... Training... fun times! Not really.

The bike.
I have a Giant TCX - it is a carbon cyclo-cross bike; like a race bike but slow... Oh, and it has some mods...

Does this bike make my saddleback look big,,,?

Wheels - Hunt, 650b Adventure, dynamo disc. Link These wheels are smaller than my original set but they allow a much larger tire (47mm are fitted). The bike fits almost perfect, ("can you make it 1cm smaller...?" "Er... No.") but you can adjust things - seat height, location on the rails (fore/aft), bar stem etc. but increasing the tire to a fatty, you raise the overall height, and you change the gear ratios - about 6% on a 700c, going from 25mm to 47mm. Not that the frame would fit 47mm...

6% more distance is 6% more work. If you ride mountains you know, if you don't...

Cassette - 

11-46, changed from 11-42. The bike is loaded with 12kg of gear, riding mountains hitting 25% grades... no one ever said my gears are too easy... did they Craig Lloyd?

Dynamo Hub

I need light, I need power to charge my phone, my bike computer, my power banks, my rear lights, my mobile wifi hub, my flashlight, camera. I need power. The hub will run my front light and I can also charge items whilst riding. Realistically I'm only charging power banks, and then charging the electronics from the banks.

Seat.

I tried four, I finished up with a Sella SMP drop nose - 16 hour days... I like to choose my seat the way I choose my TP - comfy bum in mind, durable, and able to take a lot of crap... well 'abuse' but that didn't fit my joke.

TT bars.

They reduce weight on the saddle (I did say 16 hours...) they reduce wind resistance - this directly equates to speed, 2-3km per hour... 16 hour days, 10 days... it is the difference between finishing in 10 days or 11... Woohoo! Well, doesn't that sound like I know what I'm talking about? Ha! No... saw it on TV I did.

Chain

Ultegra 11 speed. Cos it is sexy... oh and pretty cheap.

Disc brakes with 160mm disc.

Tires 

WTB 47mm Byways (tubeless), big, fat, comfortable with low rolling resistance and some gravel tread/capabilities. And they have tan sidewalls so they look cool... which you will agree is the most important bit, yes sir.

The only other thing really are the pedals - I have Garmin Vector 3, yes they are Fork In expensive but I need to monitor my power output... to ensure I'm not working too hard... we wouldn't want to do that now would we?

Accessorizing :)

You know, bags n' stuff. Cos I'm carrying a cutlery load of stuff... (I was gonna say fork In, but this needed a description bigger, better, faster, more... Two points for the first to name the band.)

Sleeping gear.

• Sleeping bag - goose down, -2c
• Thermal mat
• Bivy bag
• Blow up pillow.

Spare clothes

• T-shirt - merino wool
• Socks bike, x2
• Climbing pants - cos they are lightweight and a sexy yellow colour.
• OR shirt - technical light weight.
• Lightweight NB shoes - actually these are women's, as there is no men's version - I look sweet.

Spare bike gear

• Bib shorts - for those Tom Dumoulin moments.
• Cycle shirt, cos.
• Socks, 
• Cycling gloves - regular.

Cold weather clothing.

• Packable puffy - goose down again.
• Waterproof jacket - Hump, a little heavy, but durable.
• Windproof vest.
• Knee warmers
• Arm warmers.
• Cycle hat
• Thermal hat
• Neck warmer x 2 - one doubles as my towel.
• Mid temp, leather palmed ski gloves. 
• Warmer packs 3x foot and hand.
• Booties

Spare parts

• 1x inner tube. Running tubeless... fingers crossed.
• Three air cartridges and adaptor... I plan on only having three tire incidents.
• Tire plug kit...
• Spokes x2... I plan on... I know I've already used that joke, shut up.
• Pump
• Chainlinks
• Spare batteries.

Tools etc

• Multi bike tool with chain breaker.
• Mini multi tool
• Knife
• Gorilla tape
• Electrical tape
• Zip ties

Lights

• Three usb rechargeable rear lights - they last, and are bright.
• One Knog light/powerbank combo... 
• Exposure Revo dynamo light.

Electronic equipment

• Mobile wifi router 
• 20,000 ma powerbank
• Knog thingy/powerbank 5,000 ma
• Tiny powerbank with tiny flashlight - 1,000ma
• Wifi router came with its' own powerbank - not sure but guessing around 5-10,000ma
• iPhone 7
• Wahoo Element bolt.
• iWatch
• Wahoo Tickr - HRM
• Charging cables and plugs
• Ear phones.

First aid and Washing 

• Lightweight basic first aid kit
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Floss
• Razor
• Breath thingies
• Painkillers... strong.
• Asthma puffer
• Vitamins
• Lip balm
• Chamois cream.

Other stuff-

• Credit cards
• Cash
• Drivers licence
• Sunglasses
• Bike lock.
• Waterbottles and cages x2
• Glasses - cos I'm old and going blind.
• And TP... 
• Food.

Dude...! I know right, a shit load of stuff... and I gotta carry it.

• Saddle bag.
• Frame bag
• Top tube bag x2
• Handle bar roll
• Accessory bag.
• 2 light mounts.
• One phone mount
• One Wahoo Element mount.

So... that is it. Well for now anyway... In the next instalment of 'you're a fork in Sane' we'll talk about not panicking when your wheels don't arrive, or your dynamo hub... or even more fun, the airline losing your transport and accommodation for the next 11 days... also known as your bike bag.

I usually do one of those smart witty sign off things, you know plugging my company... some links, some calls to action... you know the 'pro' stuff. Today...? Well... I just can't be buggered.

Tell me what you think of the gear list... oh, yes, and those that have those complaints, the email address as always is idontcare@goaway.com 

Wait... not gone yet, here are some random pics to try and make it look a little better.

I found this place yesterday... and... finders keepers.

Rubbish pic #1... what do you mean delete it?

Some idiot thought this was the Nihonbashi bridge... Ha! I am so embarrassed.

Tree... but you probably worked that out.

Bike around Tokyo event - it looked cool, I wanted to do it... 

Another potential Nihonbashi Bridge...

Road... with Trees... 

Belgium in Japan... hmmm... Stella.

And finally rubbish pic #2... but don't worry, I did delete that one.

Big White is... no wait... Japan will be AWESOME! Or rather - Hubris...

Hubris? Unreasonable or excessive pride or confidence in oneself...

Excessive confidence in my case, me thinks. What have I done I hear you ask... (no, I can't really hear you... I'm just saying that as convenient segue), yes, I know it is supposed to be without interruption... yes, I did fail... shut-up.

Anyhooo... what was I saying before my ADD kicked in...? Ah yes, Hubris.

Two years ago I started riding bikes... it was tough, it was hell, it was brutal... but as Katie Kookabura says - 'it is only riding a bike' ha! Bitch.

Five weeks ago (as I write) I signed up for the Japanese Odyssey. 

Two years ago, for the first time, I rode up and down Big White road -

• 45km
• 1000m elevation gain loss
• Roughly 2 hours and 30 mins

Fog Me! It was hell, I think I left part (if not all) of my soul on that first ride...

I then took Fall, Winter and Spring off, starting again in May 2017 - unfit, and the opposite of un-fat. Again it was brutal. I didn't stop this time though, I got a trainer and rode through the Winter, courtesy of Zwift. Spring came (for those struggling with the math, this is May 2018) and even though it was tough again, it wasn't complete hell... not complete.

Four months later and I'm kinda fit, enjoying riding, 250kms, and 4000 meters climbing a week... I'm even watching GCN - don't start watching it, (it is too late for me) it will show you stuff you didn't know you need, can't afford to buy, but will definitely get. And watching things like Tour de France, Giro d'Italia, La Vuelta... Yes - I have become a mamil - middle aged man in lycra. No, not a pretty sight. But there is a good reason - it is my mid-life crisis and I will do what I... wait... what my wife allows... yes. Besides, I couldn't afford a real crisis. 

And then Hubris kicks in... all by itself, nope, I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with it. 'Let's sign up for this bike ride...' it says... 'er... okay...' I say.

Ever been to Japan? No, me neither. Did you know that Japan is basically a mountain range? No...? Nope, I didn't either... not until after I'd signed up anyway. I'll give you some statistics about the odyssey vs the 21 day Grand Tours

• Distance about 2600km - in ten days... compared to-
• Giro d'Italia 2018 - 3572kms... 170km per day
• Tour de France 2018 - 3350 kms... 160km per day.
• La Vuelta (Spain's grand tour) - 3254 kms... 155km per day.
• Climbing or Elevation Gain - approx 50,000m... actually my first route showed 119,000m... I nearly cried...* but now down to 5000m per day - woohoo!
• Giro - 44,000m - 2200m per day.
• Tour de France - 21,125 - 1000m per day.
• La Vuelta - I don't know, can't find it... I imagine it is like 12 meters.
• Average weight of Rider, Bike, and carried gear.
• Japan Odyssey - well, this is just me - 
• 75kg... on a good day, with the wind blowing in the right direction.
• Bike 9kg... 
• Gear - 12kg... I hope.
• Total - 96kg.
• The Grand Tour Riders-
• Weight 65kg average.
• Bike - 7kg+/- 200g... usually.
• Gear - ha! Zero.
• Total 72kg.

*Why did I nearly cry? Well, I one climbed 8880m... it took 27 hours!!!

So... I'm 50% heavier, riding almost double their distance, and climbing 2-3 times their daily elevation gain... Why? Why would I sign up for this..?

And no I don't have...

• Neutral service.
• Support Vehicles
• Team bus
• Team cars
• Team masseuse
• Team chef
• Team physio
• Team nutritional consultant
• Spare bikes
• Spare wheels
• Spare components - well, not many, I have a tube and some chain links.
• Spare shirts... no wait, I have a spare shirt, and shorts too!
• Medics, doctors, police escort, closed roads, tv coverage...
• I have a phone... with maps on it, yes sir... oh, and a GPS tracker that will put a blue dot on your screen... if you wanted to follow progress... not quite Eurosport coverage...

They will ride 1-5 hours per day, me (I'm hoping only) 12-16... And they have all their gear given to them... and their bikes are so modern and cutting edge they could be one of those fancy Japanese specialty knives... mine? Mine could be a bucket... with a broken handle... and holes in it... and they will be aero... Me? I will have so much surface area I could be a sail.

Hubris eh? Hubris sucks.

Sólido Properties... rentals, property management, beer drinking, bike riding... time wasting, procrastinating (at the expert level), ski instructing (not at the expert level...) blog writing, ADD enjoying (yes it can be fun, just ask my buddy Mike - he likes being a doctor, but he is also a little crazy, you should see all the vehicles he has - I bet he has 20 of them, no I don't know why, seems strange I know, I can't imagine his insurance costs... or maintenance...) wait... back again - yes... I'm off to Japan, to 'just ride a bike...' cos it will be AWESOME! I hope.

Post Script...
But the question - Why? Why did I choose to do this...? The reason...? Well, I asked myself (many, many times) should I, could I... can I do this...? Eventually, I stopped asking could I... eventually the question changed and became 'will I regret not trying...?' And the answer to that...? Well, that was an easy yes.

Big White is AWESOME! The cycling edition... Part 1.

Exactly! Absolutely nothing to do with Big White. Cool eh?

What...? I don't care, you don't have to read it.

But for those still around... "Welcome; to the GCN... Cycling... edition"

Yes, GCN, (Global Cycling Network) my new favourite show, well, that and GOT... both start with 'G'... spooky...

Confused? Well, yes, you would be. It was gonna be called the GCN edition, but then I changed it... okay?

Anyone cycle?

Anyone cycle? I started mid 2016, May to be exact. I used to play a lot of squash, but eventually the dreaded day arrived, yes my physio suggested I quit (actually he used words more like 'idiot' and 'you', but not necessarily in that order...) Trail running, judo, army, squash, skiing... eventually took their toll. Skiing was not too bad, trail running uphill okay, downhill... not so much, squash pretty bad. And since I live in a ski resort and spent my winters as a ski instructor... skiing was staying.

On December 5th 2015 I hung up my racquet... a sad sad day... And by May 2016 I had become much more of a man... yes... I had become a chubster. Always had been really, always fighting the flab. Squash helped... until it ended. Now you would think skiing all day would help too... it did. What didn't help was the end of day decompression sessions... also know as beer and hot salty chips. Apparently I needed lots of decompression... over 20lbs... not good.

In May I came across this second hand bike - old, too small, but inexpensive and in perfect condition. I figured if I could start riding, and 'get into it' I could upgrade - you know, maybe buy some shorts... or proper pedals, (with shoes), a water bottle, shirt, gloves, repair kit... So I bought it and went for a ride... 

I live at Big White (the AWESOME! bit) but the cycling options are pretty limited - down the road and er... back up... 

Hell! OMG! To the junction and back is a 45km round trip... with a 1000m elevation gain... peaking at 1850m - i.e. great for altitude training... IF... you wanted to actually do altitude training... When you first start to ride up the mountain you think the road will never ever end. However after a few weeks you realize that your original assessment was correct - it never ends. You want to live longer? Try riding you bike up Big White road - 90 mins will feel like 8 hours...

Hell! I tell you. Even downhill has brutal uphill segments.

But... that 'Hell' did burn calories. Yes sir - about 1500 each ride, and imagine how much good it was doing your cardio system... as long as it didn't kill you... Incidentally that summer I got my heart rate up to 221 bpm... yes... my max was only supposed to be 172... :( I survived though.

In July I entered the annual Big White road race - 60km, Kelowna to Big White, 1800m total elevation gain... I even bought some shoes and clip in, clipless pedals (no, I don't know why, don't ask). The day before the ride I tested my pedals by doing the junction and back ride... this would also ensure I was adequately exhausted for the race. No not smart, yes my IQ brings the overall average down... meaning more people move into the 'above average category...' yes, you are welcome.

Of course I still did not have... shorts, shirt, water bottle(s), food... who needs those eh? Just because every other rider had them... I was unintentionally proving I had no idea what I was doing... a resounding success. 

A successful non plan.

Again, the ride proved to be hell... again. I thought I was doing okay until these two old batty-bats passed me on the last hill... chatting away as if it was a stroll in the park... whilst I was struggling to achieve two things - keep moving, and stay alive... "Hi" they said... "Fog off!" I would have said... if I could summon the energy to respond... and my brain was not so oxygen starved that it was able to retain the ability produce coherent thoughts... and then verbalize them... within an appropriate timeframe... (cycling is tough), anyway, what was I talking about... ah yes - bitches.

And then it was over. Of course my poor time had nothing to do with my fitness, it was obviously due to my substandard, and limited equipment... time to upgrade... by Wednesday I had a newish (still second hand) bike, (but it was the right size - yes, bonus), shorts, shirt and and and... a water bottle - apparently they are very important... who knew? Well who knew, apart from every other cyclist on the ride... but who else could have worked that problem out? I know every other... please shut up!

Come Monday I was out on the Big White road. And guess what? Yes! I crushed my best time by a whopping 0.427%. Bugger.

By October cycling season was coming to an end, but I had managed to become less of a man again... and the Hell? Well... the funny thing is, the 'Hell' did not really end... I just got to the point where I kinda enjoyed the suffering... kinda...

Sólido Properties owns, manages, cleans up, repairs, inspects, (and is disappointed by), maintains, renovates... numerous internal and external properties at Big White Ski Resort. Providing both short term (summer) and long term (winter) accommodation. Visit our website or Facebook page for more information, or if you would like to be ignored you can contact us via the website or FB page. We are a Human Rights company - we ignore everyone.

Big White is AWESOME! Not a bad place to Everest...

"I'm gonna keep going..."

"What?"

"I'm gonna keep going, riding..."

"For how long?!"

"Dunno, I'll keep going until, I cannot."

"But for how... Wait... are you gonna Everest?!"

"I dunno, it depends how tired I get, I'll keep going... until I can't..."

"But, but, but..." there were lots of 'buts' 

And 'Why now?'

I could understand the questions - I had not planned an Everest attempt... or prepped apart from riding my bike up and down that road... Big White road. I had talked about it, I had thought about it, I had picked and ridden some routes... figured out how many laps... and the number of kilometres I would travel. 

Wait... you don't know what I'm talking about when I say 'Everesting' do you? Silly me.

Everesting - I think I came across it last, or early this year on GCN (it's a YouTube channel) interesting if you like cycling. I didn't really pay much attention to Everesting when I first came across it, riding a bike the equivalent height of Mount Everest. And then you hear about it again, pay a little more attention think about it a little... height of Everest (8848m), riding the height of it, on one ride, on the same hill (or mountain), repeat until you get to the number 8848m... no sleeping allowed.

Why would I need sleep...? I'll just start early. Ha!

They have a website, they have videos a calculator, - pick a Strava segment, plug in your expected speed, weight, bike weight... add some rest breaks... Big White road usually takes me 1h 50mins, +/- if I 'press-on' 2h 30mins if I take it easy...

I do the math in my head, the ride is 985m gain over 45kms... nine laps... 9x1h 50mins... ooh,... 400km +... ouch, add some breaks - six times 10 mins... ahh... that's 19 hours. Hmmm... maybe I'll get up really early...

I'm still not really paying attention... and it really does not appeal much. It sounds tough, it sounds brutal, it does not sound like fun... 19 hours... riding up and down a hill? Not for me thank you very much. 

...Then I see the phrase 'Earning the Grey Stripe Kit...' What is this grey stripe kit...? I find out - hey, yeah, that looks cool... What do you mean IF you have Everested you can wear it... If? IF...!?! I can wear Chris Froome's replica yellow/red/pink/green/polka dot jersey(s) from whatever Grand Tour he has won or lead... I can wear any team jersey, I can wear any race jersey... but I cannot wear, or even buy their shirt...?

Whatever you do, do not fall into their trap. It is just a scam I tell you. A Scam!

Cos I don't want this Grey Stripe Kit... do I? No, not until they tell me I can't have it... then I want it... 

So, there I am responding to my wife's but... (s) (almost forgot the 's') contemplating Everesting. It is 8:00pm (ish) I have been riding since 3pm, I have finished my second lap... at this point I'm thinking maybe another 15 hours... if I can keep going... Ha! Damn Grey Stripe Kit.

Six hours and two laps later I am still moving and everything is... perfect. Yes, it is cold (bottomed out a 6 degrees), yes I am tired, yes I am not even half way (that's a sobering thought after you have been riding for hours...) yes I don't have much light, yes I saw a grizzly (small one... you know, the slow, friendly kind... I hope) but man the night sky is perfect, brilliant, vibrant... I am just riding and looking at the sky, staring at the milky way, just... just looking. That was the best part of the ride - two laps, dark skies, no light pollution (not even the moon) milky way and shooting stars... my breathing is steady and strong, I can hear the rhythm of my carbon wheels... you know if you know...

Awesome!

Nine hours and three laps after that... not so much. I am only on lap 7... my 11am goal was gonna be closer to 4pm... if I can speed up... Ha! Temp is rising (it does get to 32...) but everything is holding up, I'm not exhausted (fatigued yes), knees, feet, back, neck all seem okay, hands are getting stiff and numb but manageable. Do I want to stop? Not really, I didn't really consider doing this; but to get this far, and then stop? If I keep going I only have three laps to do (I can do three laps can't I?) If I stop...? Well, then I have nine more laps to do... pretty easy choice really.

I finished just before 6pm... 27 hours total, 22 in the saddle - (I found out the little rest breaks were not so little...)

So was it worth it? Well, you will have to try it and find out. Will I do it again...? Yes.

Finally, I have to say thanks to my wife and son - despite the short notice they really looked after me all night. The home made, double burger, with bacon, cheese, mushrooms, sautéed onions and a coke (not home made) at 2:30am is a meal I will probably never forget.

Sólido Properties often used to write a blog about rentals, seasonal staff/work, living and doing life at Big White... and then... procrastination...

Big White is AWESOME! Shhh... it happens. Or the Big White endurance ride.

What does Mr. Pickles...?

Life, my young Padowan, Life happens... but, shhh... it is okay. The ride happens too...

But first things first, Sponsors! Thanks! And in this particular order, er... this random one.

Scott and Jamie.

NBS - Nothing But Snow.
I have, in this blog, touched on them previously - find it here. The Gap program guys. And as a reminder if you are looking to spend a season at Big White, you want to be a ski instructor and last, but the most important (double emphasis) Want To Change Your Life Forever!!! Yes, Forever my friends - Contact NBS (ask for Leigh, say Chris told you to ask for a 90% discount... Ha! No, he won't give it to you.)

Jamie, Happy and...

What? You don't think it will change your life? Meet Scott and Jamie-

Both started out on Gap programs, both have made Canada their home, both are ski instructors in the winter... Just gonna emphasize a point here...

Both started on Gap programs...

Scott, well... probably unhappy,
cos the excuse factory
shut down on this day.

As you can see the Gap program will not solve all your problems... but better to be ugly and happy as oppose to ugly and unhappy... No? Both are now Canadian residents proceeding towards (or have) their citizenship. Life changing? Told you.


Who else? Mac Butts Ass... is the abbreviation - McFadden Buttar and Associates is the actual company name... but I like Mac Butts... What? You too...? Cool!

I have had the privilege of being their (least) favourite client since I... er... well, since I became a client - back in the early part of the millennium. They even have a mug with my 'mug' on it - it says 'favourite client' of course I had to buy it for them... but I could tell they wanted it.

But what do they do besides sponsoring bike rides? Who cares!! Oh, wait, they are money guys - accountants and tax planners - if you want to avoid (definitely not evade...) and when I say 'avoid' I mean 'optimize financial strategies, to minimize unnecessary tax liabilities' then these are the guys to annoy, I mean talk to.

And and and... if that has not convinced you. They have free beer too, for their preferred clients... I've heard. If you want to find out more about Mac Butts Ass, - it is a linked ass.

And? Black Diamond Bar and Grill - 
Don and Theresa's place at Big White. My favourite place to get fat. True story. Yes, unfortunately for me their food is fantastic, and the beer selection... is also fantastic. Weiss Beer is my fav... Erdinger - where else can you find Erdinger on tap? Two types including Dunkel - the black weiss beer...?

And they have the best (in my opinion) burger on the mountain... damn them! I try to stay away, honest. And and and... they are 'nice' and you know how much misanthropic me hates nice people! I have to be nice back, Ugh. And they sponsored the bike ride - extra nice, foggin el. Actually the first time I met Theresa she gave me a hug - "I'm a hugger" she said as she came in... 'oh really, cos I'm a puncher...' I responded. Ignored me she did... and they still sponsored us... did I mention nice.

Fortunately for me they sometimes are full, and I can't go... or else I would be 'bigger-boned'. Go and see for yourself... (best reserve) you know what else they have? Milkshakes - do not try them... ever! Heroin I tell you.

Contact them through FB
Or, their website.

Finally of course there is Treehouse Interiors - Rob and Karen, 

Business acquaintances that became good friends - I don't see them as often as I should - Kelowna, Big White... their kids are grown and have kids of their own. Ours... (wifey and I) are still in that difficult period (yes, the tiny bit between being born and leaving home). And they (Rob and Karen) have the best furniture store in Kelowna - no not like any other.

Ever been to a cheap chain of hotels - you know, Best Western and the like? Ever been to a perfect boutique hotel? You know what I am talking about. Treehouse Interiors is the boutique hotel. You can find them there almost every day - ask Rob for a coffee (yes, better than Starbucks...). And no, you don't get voted (year in, year out) the best furniture store in the Okanagan cos you are a chain... no sir, you don't.

The team - blurry cos we were tired.
Jamie suggested we ride (the 60km) to the start...
No, we didn't, but the thought was fatiguing.

Finishing first... in my category anyway - born on Christmas Day...
in 1967... named Chris... with two dogs...

Yes, he did balance that sign all the way.
No, I don't know why he is on the wrong side... or exposing his chest...

I know, I forgot to hold my stomach in... and my shirt.

And Big White of course for the privilege of allowing ourselves to go through hell... but you know the good thing? Your brain is so starved of oxygen that it does not have the ability to record how much pain you are in - cool eh?

But... what about the life garbage stuff at the start...?

Next time maybe.

Sólido Properties and Big White Mountain Renovations - live, work, blog, drink beer, eat burgers, ski (yes, we are all ski instructors... some are better than others... some can ski like ski-gods... I, can doing that talking thing, you know, using words etc.) ride bikes, (some are better than others... and not bald...) and what else?

Er... Nothing today.

Except... I am available for professional writing gigs - $8m per gig... no, I'm not rich yet... why do you ask?

Big White is AWESOME! The new adventures of Baldy and Hairy Dude...

Who...?

UBBS...

Well, me and some other dude... (I'm Chris btw, just in case of confusion) you can easily tell us apart I am the Devastatingly-handsome, Universal Master Brain, beardy boy (or DUMB) with no hair. Scott is the other beardy boy; not devastatingly handsome hairy headed dude... (Ugly Beardy Boy Scott... or UBBS) some people would disagree with my description - Scott for one, but the thing is, I have control of the blog... not him. And once, as you well know, it hits the internet, it becomes forever recorded as fact in the Canals of history... true story - just ask Trump. Note, I was going to use 'annals' of history but the word looked funny... well, Annals - Latin: annāles meaning Annus "year". You see my issue? 


"But 'Canals'...?" Yes, I know... shut up.

DUMB thinking.

Before you keep reading let me just tell you something. This blog is part of a comprehensive marketing strategy to drive interest to our new business - yes! You are correct, a 'ol' big advert! Cool eh? It also allows me to abuse Scott too! Double trouble.

What...? You're still reading...? Cos you've nothing better to do, you say... I'll keep going then. Of course if your name is Lucy, you may want to discover if I have written about 'Pie'... if so click on this (appropriately named) link - Pie.

Okay, continuing... Hairy dude and I figured there was an opportunity to exploit a building renovation, small project construction, maintenance and renovation gap. You know the kind of thing that just rolls off the tongue, like a wasp in the mouth. 

• A new kitchen, 
• Interior or exterior painting.
• Drywall - repair and installation.
• Hardwood floor installation, 
• Tiling etc etc.
• And other stuff, yes... Other stuff.

But, could we be competitive? Cost? Quality? Time? They are the Holy Grail of almost any project. 

Cost - yes, it will cost.
Quality - of course... we are English, Quality Street was every kid's Christmas Day, breakfast tradition.
Time - currently, 10:39. Oops sorry... what am I thinking... in the morning.

Doing the 'Quality' thing...

Holy Grail sir, Holy Grail.

So, there you have it. A brilliant marketing campaign... well the first bit anyway. We also don't have business cards, flyers, logo, either. Did you know Coca Cola spends around $12b (yes, billion) each year on marketing? This drivel only cost me my time! And as it is part of my blog, I get paid for it! Did you know that since I wrote my first blog all those years ago, I have earned a whopping... wait, whopping may be too strong a word... modest, lets go with modest. ...earned a 'modest' $32 Canadian. Yes! I am a paid writer, my friend. Friends, I mean friends, you are a plurality now. Hey! Don't be getting all political on me, I can use the word here - it also means 'a state of being plural' so bugger off.

Anyhooo, back on topic. Ugly Beardy-boy Scott (UBBS) and myself (DUMB) work as a

UBBS checking out the
'work-quality'

great team - he does most of the easy, lazy stuff, you know, the actual work... whilst I do the difficult stuff - yes, 'the masterminding...'

Right now, whilst UBBS is slacking off on a construction site, I have to be here in the Caribbean improving my inconsiderable kite-boarding skills... this masterminding is not easy.

Well, wind is getting up, I had best finish.

So, contact us when you need some of that 'worky' thing done, this is a link to our broken website. As you can see our link is also broken... but this is a link to our Facebook page - you can contact us from there. Best add some pics now.

Oh oh oh... I forgot (so this is a kind of PS) one reader (okay, 'the' reader) has suggested I write a book - and low and behold here is breaking news!!! I have a name for a character - Beholdan Low. No... that is all I have. No... no story concept. No! I have no idea what it will be about... good name though eh?

Big White is AWESOME! Pie...

No.

Not yet anyway.

Big White is AWESOME! Cos the people... let's say 15, I don't think I have used that number...

Yes, I know going in chronological order would make sense. But my mind works differently, either that or I am lazy, or forgetful, or ADD or a combination of awesome and fantastic... yes autistic... awe-tistic... get it? I'm combining the two words... wait... what do you mean it's not funny if I have to explain it? 

Anyhooo... do you remember when you were at school? More specifically when you had an assignment to do... pick a person you admired? To be honest, I don't recall doing that, I do recall being a disruptive, under achieving, cheeky, annoying, brat. But being exposed to the North American culture, I have come to understand doing an 'assignment' is a 'thing'.

Free beer for imaginary friends!

Now you would think, with my particular kind of misanthropic personality ('there are two types of people... people I don't know... and people I don't like...' to quote myself) I would not respect or admire anyone, well you would be right, I mean wrong... Wrong, wrong I meant.

Now imagine you are a 26 year old man, 5'8" (173cm ish) and you weigh in at 270lbs... on a good day. Fit...? Healthy...? Active...? Not so much. But you have a well paid, career path, government job; it is a desk job, but government...? Perks, pension, union representative, overtime, lots of holidays... six weeks holiday... (no Canada, not you, oh oh oh except teachers - they get 26 weeks) you can take a sabbatical, they will support education programs... etc etc. Your family is close and supportive, friends are great... apparently friends that 'like you' is also a thing... 

You are set for life... if you choose. No, life is not 'perfect', but we are talking first world problems... (I'm overweight) not third world problems... (we have no food, water, shelter, the country is being torn apart by warlords). Given those circumstances, what would you do? What do 999/1000 people do? They choose the easy life, the comfortable life, the known, the stable, consistent, predictable safe... yes - the chubby option.

But not everyone... no.

Fast forward four years.

Wait... let me ask you a question. How many of you struggle with weight? How many have tried losing weight, how many think they need more exercise... but don't. How many try to blame other factors...? I am big boned, I am just heavy set, I am gluten intolerant... I don't each much... Let me tell you an astonishing fact - calories don't multiply in your stomach. True story.

Eat more sugar... it is good...
for our profits.

Of course there are things that affect our appetites, take sugar... imagine for an instant there was this drug. A drug with some particular attributes...

• Very addictive, three hours after ingesting, your body is craving more.
• Instant gratification - it enters the blood stream seconds after being ingested.
• Instant energy boost.
• Instant mood elevation.
• A source of pure expendable energy.
• Readily available globally.
• Cheap to being almost free.
• Acceptable in society.
• Promoted in society. 
• Government encouraged... 

Peter... er... taking Action.

But what happens if we don't burn that 'drug'? Well, your body has to do something with it. Enter your pancreas. Your pancreas creates insulin which helps deal with this drug... it helps deal with the energy by storing it for later dates, yes, we are still cavemen, our bodies have evolved to store energy for famine periods, it is an efficient system - the energy gets stored as fat. Your pancreas is pretty effective, as this 'drug' enters your bloodstream, it jumps into action, floods your body with insulin, gets rid of that pesky drug. But it is a little too effective at this... quickly dropping your blood sugar level  leaving you feeling weak, lethargic, tired, cranky... hungry... 'Help...! I need another donut...'

Sugar is the heroin of the western world - once sugar is introduced into a country, the consumption only ever increases. Rats will consume sugar over heroin, sugar water is the only product babies will chose over breast milk, the world health organization (despite millions spent by lobbyists to prevent) recommends no more than 5% of your daily calorie consumption to be sugar... our global daily average is 25%.

Why would lobbyists do this? Well sugar is...

• Cheap.
• A huge source of revenue (read profit)
• adaptable - you can put it in anything.
• Easy to manufacture, process, transport... not prone to degradation...
• And and and... very addictive.

Yes, a perfect product.

These sugar lobbyists strangely have an easier job than the Brussels Sprout lobbyists...

Pic of my dog Hobbes...
I dunno, cos it's a good pic.

25% of our calories that have zero nutritional value - hmmm... healthy. Zero nutritional value that creates cravings to consume more, and more...? Dld you know that there is a 'sweet' spot for sweetness levels? True - in the industry it is called the 'Bliss' level - not too bland, not too sweet. This Bliss level originated in soda, okay, not too bad except it has permeated into almost all aspects of the processed food industry... that healthy looking tomato based pasta sauce...? Full of chunky vegetables, tomatoes, low fat...? ooh ooh ooh and low sodium too... yes? Cos it's full of foggin sugar.

Why don't they make it healthier? Well imagine you are a food manufacturer and you have a choice - cheap, addictive, profitable foods that people can afford, or bland, expensive, healthy stuff that people don't buy? Ever tried feeding kids Brussels Sprouts? Exactly. (Quick topical joke - What is the difference between snot and Brussels Sprouts? A. Kids won't eat Brussels Sprouts). You cannot blame the manufacturers, they are catering to market forces... you have to take action.... take responsibility for your own decisions.

Nutter dog. Waiting for
some nuts.

But I don't have time? Look at American Labor statistics... here. Yes, McDonalds, Pizza, pasta sauce etc are cheaper, easier, faster, tastier... more addictive. But time is not the issue - you have lots, stop watching tv, stop being life's spectator, go and participate.

So sugar is an issue. What else? Ease of calories...? Is it easy to get those life sustaining calories...? Er... I think so...

Remember when we were cavemen (I am going to ignore the 'Creationists' belief's here), hunter gatherers? Calories were hard to get... no? Okay, famine ravaged third-world countries? Getting closer? Or, what about Venezuela? That country is now in crisis - people are struggling to eat, on average the population have lost 18lb each... My point is simpler, sitting in a sofa, watching tv, and phoning for a calorie saturated, sugar infused pizza (dough and sauce) is less challenging than spending 8-hours gathering berries... or playing tag with that sabre toothed tiger... losing not recommended.

Aww... doesn't he look cute...?
He is not! He is a drunk
Scotsman coming out of a bar at 2am
'Am gunna firkin keel yu...'

What about calorie burn? If you live at Big White, you may have seen that idiot riding his bike up and down the road... yes me. Why do I do it - cos I am dumb. Every winter despite my good intentions I gain a winter layer - it must be those 'multiplying-calories' it cannot be all the beer, fries, chocolate, wine, rich food... deserts, starters, take-away curry (er... yum!), chips etc etc etc. And yet I am active - ski instructor you see, 130+ days this season - true story. 130 days and I still gained 10lbs... dumbass.

10lbs is equivalent to 35,000 calories, when I ride my bike for two hours down to the junction (this is Hell by the way, capital H, hell.) I burn about 625 calories per hour. Or... two chocolate bars, four beers (+/-) almost a full piece of restaurant cheesecake (for the full two hours riding... 120 mins riding for a piece of cake... kidding me right? Nope.) so the food we eat is very calorie dense.

Anyway back to today...

Peter - fighting the man...
and happy.

Peter... my hero. Five years ago 270lb, today... he is much less of a man, about 90lb less. Work, discipline, and focus on a goal - making sure he had somewhere to live... yes, if you don't look after your body, where will you live? Huh? So Peter is doing it, fighting the (sugar) man... and winning.

In those five years Peter has...

• Lost a sugar load of weight.
• Qualified as a snowboard instructor (in Canada)
• Done numerous Obstacle Course Races
• This includes the 2017 Rat Race - 20 miles, 200 obstacles 7 hours 38 mins... yes, effin ell.
• Spent two winter seasons at Canada at Big White Ski Resort.
• Gained the friendship (temporary) of my nutter dog - Pixel.

Admirable eh? Yes, I can see you nodding, well the few of you that have met Pixel... and the other stuff is pretty cool too.

So Peter is 'Cos the people - 15' no longer at Big White, but he escaped the trap, fought the man, made an impact in my life... and became... a lessor man.

 Sólido Properties - er... got fat again during the ski season, three times now... just you wait tho, next season will be different... maybe.